How to Survive the Holidays Alone (And What to Do with Your Dating Profile in the Meantime)
Is your single status causing you to think about logging onto an online dating site this year?
Without a doubt, spending the holidays alone is hard. But whether you decide to stay single this year or to give dating a try, keep reading to find out our favorite seven ways to survive the holidays if you’re in a season of singleness.
Spending the holidays alone isn’t easy
There’s nothing quite like the holiday season to make you aware of your single status. There’s no one around for your to kiss under the mistletoe, and sleigh rides don’t seem as fun if you’re jumping in the sled solo. Those comments from family and friends (who sometimes mean well!) about how there’s no one joining you at the Christmas dinner table don’t help things, either.
Every Hallmark movie tells us that the holidays are about being together with someone, or meeting that perfect person who happens to own a Christmas tree farm and that adorable dog of your dreams. At least that’s what the movies tell us. Regardless of whether we struggle to not buy into Hollywood’s idea of a picture-perfect Christmas, there’s no denying that spending the holiday season by yourself isn’t the easiest thing in the world to do.
Should you consider using an online dating site this time of year?
It’s tempting to smother those feelings of loneliness and click onto an online dating site. But don’t create an online dating profile just because you’re jealous of how seemingly everyone has a match but you this year. You shouldn’t make a decision in a moment of desolation, after all.
“The feelings of loneliness and sadness that get brought up for a lot of people around this time of year can make you search for things that make you feel good in the moment,” says Rachel Sussman, LCSW. She’s a New York-based relationship therapist. “But that’s never the right path forward.” Actually, jumping right onto an online dating site if you’re feeling lonely or left out can actually make you feel worse. “It’s like a sugar rush,” Sussman says. “You feel good in the moment, but then you just crash.”
But if you’ve taken time to lean into what you’re processing as a single Catholic during the holidays, and are at a healthy point, the Christmas season can be a great time to meet someone new.
If you decide online dating is the right thing for you this holiday season, don’t forget to take time for yourself, still.
“It may be hard to feel the loneliness,” Sussman continued. “But if you feel like you need to take a pause from dating in order to work on your self-esteem, that’s fine.” Meeting someone new and going on dates isn’t a bad thing, but don’t feel the pressure to make every night a date night. “Don’t fill up every free night in the calendar with dates, but don’t shut yourself down from the possibility of meeting someone, either,” Sussman said.
What is the best online dating site for a serious relationship?
If you decide to give online dating a try, you’ll be greeted by hundreds of online dating website and apps to try.
Can Catholics use mainstream dating apps successfully? The short answer is yes. Occasionally two faithful singles will connect with each other in the vast sea of non-religious men and women on most apps.
When you’re looking for someone to spend the rest of your life with, your faith is an important thing to consider. At Catholic Singles, the Catholic faith is incredibly important to us. All of our efforts revolve around creating an environment that fosters our values as Catholics so you can have an environment that helps you find meaningful relationships that last a lifetime.
The CatholicSingles online dating app lets you share your purpose, your experiences, your hopes and dreams, and details about how you practice your faith.
How to survive the holidays if you’re single this year
If you’re single this year, that doesn’t mean that the holidays have to be a season you dread. Instead, be intentional with how you spend your time and make this the best holiday season yet! Here are our favorite seven tips for not only surviving this holiday season, but thriving this Christmas.
1. Prepare in advance
The holiday season is upon us, and that means that we’ve entered into a season of preparation. The season of Advent means that, especially for Catholic Singles, this is a season to intentionally prepare for the birth of Christ as a little baby in Bethlehem.
But just like you should prepare your heart and soul for the coming of Christ, you should prepare your schedule and home for the holiday season if you’re single this year, too. It may be tempting to be more a Grinch with holiday celebrations and decorations, but don’t be afraid to celebrate, even if you’re own your own this year!
You know what fills your heart with joy. Maybe it’s decorating your house or apartment for the holiday season. Perhaps you love spending time intentionally with friends and have the time to host a holiday part. Don’t let Christmas sneak up on you and leave you feeling alone. You can prepare to celebrate this holiday season regardless of what season of life you’re in.
2. Cook a holiday meal
You may think it’s not worth it to cook a holiday meal if there’s just you celebrating. But that couldn’t be further from the truth. You’re worth the time it takes to prepare a holiday meal, and if you enjoy good food around the holidays, there’s no reason you should skip out just because you don’t have someone to split the bill or the leftovers with.
If you enjoy cooking, plan a menu for yourself during the holiday seasons that includes some of your favorites. If you’re not much of the cooking type, pick out a few local restaurants that you’ve been wanting to try and support them during the holiday season. Take yourself out for a night on the town and enjoy some good holiday food.
Even if the temperature is in the negatives, that doesn’t mean you have to put exercise aside this holiday season. Don’t wait until your New Year’s resolution to start taking care of yourself and the body God gave you.
As a bonus, exercise increases your overall health and sense of well-being, which gives you even more reason to hit the gym, take a quick run outside, or do some stretching. If the holiday season is a stressful one for you, do yourself a favor and provide yourself with a healthy outlet for stress relief.
4. Read books
Extra time off work and a lighter holiday schedule could leave you with quite a bit of free time on your hands. It’s tempting to spend that time on your phone scrolling through social media, or in front of your Netflix shows. But don’t hesitate to expand your entertainment outlets this holiday season and pick up some reading.
You could go the classic route of reading (or re-reading!) the different accounts of Christ’s birth throughout the Gospels. Or maybe there’s a best-seller you’ve been wanting to check out for quite a while and you just now have time to pick it up off your library or local book store’s bookshelf. Need some inspiration? Check out this list of the best Christmas books of all time.
5. Take care of yourself
Now is not the time to put self-care on the back burner. But self-care isn’t just about a spa day or a box of chocolates, like the commercials try to sell you. In order to recognize that we are loved by a good God, we have to reject the lies that today’s culture has fed us about self-care.
Self-care isn’t shameful. It’s okay to say “no” to another holiday obligation that someone has asked you to do just because you don’t have a significant other.
Self-care isn’t just about your body either. Sure, it’s great to have a day at the spa. But don’t forget your mental and emotional health this holiday season, either.
The holiday isn’t the only time you should focus on self-care, though. Don’t wait until you’re at the breaking point with burdens you carry (and refuse to let someone else help you with). Instead, allow yourself regular time for relaxation.
By committing to holistic self-care that appreciates every aspect our humanity, we actually are praising God, becoming better stewards of the gifts He’s given us as his children.
6. Spend time practicing hobbies
Maybe you enjoy bowling, cross-stitch, or long walks. The day-to-day grind of work and responsibilities outside the holiday season can leave little time for hobbies. But now that you have some days off of work (hopefully!) and free time on your hands, invest into the hobbies you know you find joy in.
Have the free time but are wondering whether you have a favorite hobby or not? Check out these unusual, unique hobbies that will help you become your best self.
7. Use some of your free time to get polish up your dating profile
If you’re in a good place to look for love, this may be a good time to log onto an online dating site and fill out your profile. The extra time you have in the holiday season could provide the perfect opportunity to start meeting people online (or in person!).
Looking for some great tips about how to put together the best profile? Check out these blog posts from our archives:
- How to Talk Positively About Yourself on a Dating Profile
- Making the Most of Your Profile
- How to Triple Your Response Rate to Your Messages
- Our 3-Minute Guide to Getting The Most Out of CatholicSingles.com
If you’re spending the holidays alone this year, don’t give into self-pity or despair. This holiday season can be a great time to re-dedicate yourself to healthy, self-care habits. Or, if you’re in a good place emotionally and spiritually, it could be just perfect time to give online dating a try.
Chloe Langr is a very short stay-at-home-wife, whose growth has probably been stunted by the inhumane amounts of coffee she regularly consumes. When she is not buried in a growing stack of books, she can be found spending time with her husband, geeking out over Theology of the Body, or podcasting. You can find more about her on her blog "Old Fashioned Girl."