You met someone on a Catholic dating app and you’ve been going on a bunch of dates. The dates have gone well and you really seem to click with this person. So, the next big question is how do you move from just going on dates to being exclusive?
Online Catholic dating does bring some nuance with it when it comes to labeling your relationship. Here are some pointers for having that DTR (define the relationship) talk.
Make sure your partner is on the same page
When you first start getting to know someone, it’s important to make your intentions clear. Was she looking for a serious relationship or just some casual dates? Did he specify what he was looking for up front? Did he or she voice a change of mind over the course of dating?
Online Catholic dating is actually easier in this regard because it allows you to be upfront with your intentions.
Those intentions are important for this conversation because you need to make sure what you’re asking is in line with what that person has expressed as their desire for a dating relationship.
If you both wanted to casually date to meet someone serious, then go ahead and ask to make it exclusive!
If you are looking to casually date until someone serious comes along, but your potential is only into the casual part, proceed with caution. Make sure you’re open to the other person just wanting to keep it casual. You also have to be willing to break it off if that’s not in line with what you’re now looking for.
Just because you met on a Catholic dating app doesn’t mean that your intentions for dating relationship statuses automatically align.
Approach the conversation tactfully
Absolutely do not say something like, “I don’t want you seeing other guys anymore,” or “I want you to be mine alone.” All these do are show that you are the jealous type and that’s a red flag.
Read more: Navigating A New Relationship? Here Are Four Signs You Need To Put On The Brakes
Instead, say something like, “We’ve been getting along so well and you’re someone I’d like to explore a relationship with, to see if we are fit for more together.” This is clear and concise and leaves room for the other party to process and speak.
Don’t speak about vocations yet. That can be a red flag of someone going too fast and be a turn off. This is where online Catholic dating can get tricky, because there is the temptation to lay all of your cards on the table at once. Don’t do that! You have an entire deck for a reason.
Now, you may be thinking that this is why you signed up for a Catholic dating app in the first place, to meet your future spouse and get a jump on that vocation. This may be true! But now is not the time to shove that in anyone’s face, this is the time for gentleness and compassion. The time to share what you’re looking for was with your intentions, up front.
Be open to moving on
There’s always the possibility that your potential partner just doesn’t feel the same way as you, no matter how well the dates have been going or how well you get along. After all, that’s why you’re going on dates, anyway!
With any type of dating comes the need to be open to moving on from this particular person. By wanting to become exclusive, you want to move on from one type of dating to another. It really isn’t the end of the world that the other person may not want to become exclusive. You can look at it as being one step closer to finding someone who does want to become exclusive and thus, one step closer to finding your future spouse.
Being told no hurts. There’s no way around that. But someone sharing that they don’t want to be exclusive with you is sometimes the best tool for moving forward. If you want to become exclusive but your partner does not, you weren’t on the same page and you need to find someone who is looking for the same kind of relationship as you are.
Dating for single Catholic men and women should be a joyful endeavor! It’s a good thing you’ve found someone you want to be exclusive with! It’s a good thing to be putting yourself out there! God said that it was not good for man to be alone and you are living that out.
Focus on the good, positive, and joyful things when you ask your partner to become exclusive. Your joy will be infectious and that will show your partner that you are invested and happy with who he or she is as a person. This might be the best way to communicate that you like being with this person and wish to spend more focused time with him or her.
Online Catholic dating has its ups and downs but there are ways to overcome and communicate joy through all of them. Hopefully, these tips help you communicate clearly and concisely when asking your dating partner to go exclusive.
Good luck, and know that all of us here on the team at Catholic Singles are praying for you!