Are You Being Elsa’d? Time to Let It Go


You’re probably not a ten year old girl, and you might not even be the parent of a ten year old daughters. But without a doubt, you’ve heard of (and maybe even seen!) the smash animated hit Disney film Frozen, and the sequel Frozen 2.

If it’s been a while since you saw it, or you’re not familiar with its premise, it’s about a pair of royal sisters, one of whom has magical ice powers. Elsa, the older sister, was born with the power to turn things she touches into ice. She can also spew snow and ice out of her hands. The minutiae of the how and why of Elsa’s magical powers aren’t so very important because the fun characters and unforgettable songs made everyone love the film.

But now, it seems there’s a Frozen-themed dating trend that the online world is discussing. The trend is a nod to the ice queen, Elsa.

If you’ve been interacting with someone in an online dating platform and suddenly begin to feel that the other person is freezing you out, it’s possible that you’re being Elsa’d.

How do you know if you’re being Elsa’d?


This trend of coldness is not that different from the ever popular (and always unpleasant) trend of ghosting. In an in-person relationship, if the person you’re seeing suddenly disappears with no word to you about where they’re going or even that they want to end things, then you’ve been ghosted.

Read more: How To Navigate Talking To Multiple People With Class And Grace

Similarly, if a person you’ve been chatting with on an online dating platform stops responding to your messages and seems to disappear, then you’ve been Elsa’d. Leading up to their silence, the other person might begin only responding to your messages with shorter, less warm replies.

Or they might simply stop the conversation cold by failing to respond at all anymore.

Make sure you examine all the possibilities first

suspicious woman

For anyone who has experienced one-sided online conversations before or maybe even been ghosted in person in the past, it can be easy to jump to the conclusion that you’re about to be Elsa’d the second your current conversation partner begins to slow their responses.

Before you assume that the person is freezing you out, give them a bit of time. Sometimes, things come up that prevent people from responding in what seems like a reasonable amount of time.

You never really know when someone on the other side of your internet conversation might have lost a loved one, had some kind of personal disaster, or unexpectedly lost all access to the internet.

But other times, like when they lead up to ending the conversation by responding icily, it might be obvious that you’re being Elsa’d.

Why are you being Elsa’d?


There are two broad possibilities of why this might be happening to you right now. The one is the old cliché: it’s not you, it’s them. In our modern dating scene, rudeness is not that unusual. Self-centered behavior is often typical. Many potential dates end up being egocentric and wrapped up in themselves. When the person you’re talking to online falls into this category, it should be surprising at all if they suddenly stop talking to you, in a very rude manner.

Read more: Break These 5 Bad Online Dating Habits

The other possibility is that your online conversation skills might need some brushing up. If you do find yourself in this situation, take a look back at your online conversation and double check that your messages left plenty of opportunity for back-and-forth.

Did you ask the other person questions about themselves?

Did you leave no room for doubt on your end that you were interested in getting to know them?

If you look back and discover that you might not have given an impression of interest and given them a good route to keep the conversation going, you can always try reaching out to them again with a question of some sort to see if that fixes the problem.

But if it’s clear there was no problem with the conversation your end, you can safely assume that the other person is being rude for no reason.

What to do if you’re being Elsa’d

letting go

This might be a bit on-the-nose, but the title of the hit Frozen song sums up just what we should do if we find ourselves in the situation of being Elsa’d: Let it go.

It’s easier said than done, of course. But the reality is that someone who is being cold, icy, or downright rude to you online is not someone who will treat you well in person. It can be a hard pill to swallow when this happens with someone in whom you had a lot of interest. But try your best to look at the situation as a bullet dodged.

You deserve someone who is caring and who is excited to talk to you.

You deserve to date a person who wants to get to know you and is thrilled at the possibility of a relationship with you.

It’s not always easy to let it go if your hopes for someone are dashed. But try to move on, maybe give the hit Frozen song a listen (or a sing-a-long) if that type of thing helps you, and look for someone who is enthusiastic about you.

The bright side of being Elsa’d is that, as much as it hurts to be ignored online, you haven’t given this rude person much of your time or your heart yet.

So if you’ve been Elsa’d, bring your pain to prayer and ask God to help you find that special someone who will treat you as you deserve.

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