Sometimes Catholic dating hurts. There’s no perfect system. After all, there are no perfect humans, so of course there’s not going to ever be one perfect dating experience. But despite disappointments, we have hope to cling to.
Don’t become so cynical towards Catholic dating that you get focused on red flags and become blind to green flags.
Celebrate every joyful moment in online dating! If you’re feeling beat down and skeptical, here are seven green flags that you can use to mark a successful relationship growing.
1. They suggest that you pray
Since our goal is to get one another to heaven, a huge green flag is when you have found someone who is enthusiastic about praying with you. There is great joy and power in partnering with a person who, when faced with adversity, will make prayer the highest solution.
The flip-side of this would be accepting prayer. Perhaps your partner isn’t the type to bravely suggest something that can be so intimate. If you suggest it and it’s well received, I’d still call that a green flag.
2. They respect boundaries
The Catholic Church offers boundaries in order to offer us freedom. Be on the lookout for someone who holds these boundaries in high esteem. It’s a victory for you both when the guidelines and boundaries are respected joyfully!
Most often, this will probably equate to sex outside of marriage. If you’re with someone who begrudgingly agrees, that’s an attitude that can tend towards a red flag. Finding someone who respects and agrees with your goals is definitely a green flag. It bodes well for future important decisions of being in line with the same values.
3. Your relationship isn’t one-sided
We’ve all been on the other side of waiting for someone to text, call, or take the initiative to make plans. It stinks! I heard someone once say, “Your priorities aren’t what you want them to be; they just are what they are.” That means that whatever we prioritize is our priority!
Of all the people they could be talking to or being with, they chose you. Proceed ahead, because that flag is green.
4. Their character is consistent
For a person to be truly authentic, they have to uphold the same principles behind closed doors. There are reasonable exceptions, like possibly being more affectionate when you’re alone together. But if at dinner with your parents, they claim is weekly Mass and the reality is Christmas and Easter only, that’s not right.
The green flag is when you can feel comfortable bringing your partner anywhere you go, because you are confident that there are no surprises!
5. You can be yourself around them
If you’ve ever dated in any secular circle, you learn pretty quickly that you have to tone down the faith to be accepted. I don’t condone that, but I’m acknowledging that it happens. You can slowly reveal yourself once you get a base established.
The opposite of that feeling is when you can be yourself! No hiding behind fake interests or downplaying the values that are really important to you. The more authentic you get to be as you get to know one another, the greener that flag becomes!
6. You’re enjoying your Catholic dating experience
Online dating definitely can feel like a full time job sometimes. Relationships are a lifelong commitment so it’s good practice to prioritize love early in the day. But the times it shouldn’t feel like a job is when you’re on the actual date!
When you’re enjoying yourself, laughing, and feeling joyful, that’s the true beauty of dating. So hang on to people that you have a truly good time being around. That’s something special.
7. Your heart is at peace
Above all else, pay attention to how your heart is feeling. Invite the Lord to keep guiding you. If there is peace in your heart, you should continue to pursue holiness and possibility with this person.