Despite the fact that online dating is the most popular way for couples to meet today, when you’re in the trenches of online dating, it can be hard to imagine actually meeting someone and discerning a relationship with them.
Thankfully, there are hundreds of thousands of couples who have found love online. If your head is spinning from sending messages and looking at online dating profiles, their advice can be a huge source of hope and encouragement.
I sat down with four Catholic couples who connected through online dating sites and I asked them the same question: What advice would you give to single Catholic men and women who are just starting on their online dating journey? These couples are engaged, newly married, and years into marriage—and they had plenty of wisdom, advice, and tips to share.
Here’s what they shared about why they turned to online dating sites, the importance of patience in your online dating journey, connecting with men and women online, and the importance of showing up authentically online.
Wait on God’s timing
Cami Dudley lives in a smaller town in South Dakota, where it was challenging to meet people in social situations. She decided to sign up for online dating, which is how she met her fiancée, Ryan. But they didn’t meet right away. “After a few failed dates, and one failed nine month relationship from online dating, I was definitely ready to call it quits on dating as a whole. I decided to give it one more chance, and met Ryan after about a year and a half of online dating,” Cami remembers.
At Catholic Singles, so many of our success stories are the result of months (even years!) of patience and prayer. It can be tempting to give up after not receiving as many messages as you’d hoped after creating an online dating profile. But be patient and trust in God’s timing when it comes to your online dating journey.
Be honest and authentic
Hannah Doll met her husband, Richard, after almost exactly a year of being on an online dating site. One of her top pieces of advice is for online dating users to be thoughtful and honest when it comes time to filling out an online dating profile. “One of the reasons I had confidence going in our first date was that I could see that we both agreed on church teachings and politics,” she remembers. “Along with your non-negotiables, fill in your interests and share unique things about you. Someone out there is looking for you!”
It takes vulnerability and courage to be honest about what you’re looking for in a relationship once you start talking to someone you meet online. But being truthful about your desires and dreams is an important part of a healthy relationship.
Remember the purpose of online dating
Carleigh Orlowski had an online dating profile on and off for about five years. She lived in a rural area, so online dating was a great resource for meeting someone who was passionate about the Catholic faith. She met her husband, Kacper, in 2018 and they got married this year. Throughout her online dating journey, Carleigh reminded herself of the purpose of online dating and wasn’t afraid to log off when she lost sight of the reason she created an online dating profile in the first place.
“When I felt like I was ‘window shopping’ for men or if I was getting overly attached to how many views my profile would get, I would disconnect and let it go for awhile. I wanted to make sure I was using it as a tool to meet and begin discussions with men, not feel like I placed in value or beauty in how many views my profile would have,” Carleigh said. “Use the dating website as the tool it’s meant to be. Use it as tool to try to meet up and go on actual dates when possible! It’s not meant to replace real human connections. There are people online using the site for what it’s created for and there are people who aren’t, so just be patient with the process and be open.”
Desire Christ more than you desire a spouse
Christina Peterson was done with online dating. She’d been on a site a few months, and wasn’t sure if online dating was where she was supposed to be. On her birthday, she decided to call it quits, and not even return a message if someone reached out to her. But then Greg messaged her and she decided to respond. They went on a few dates, dated officially for six months, and had many intentional conversations about discernment and marriage. Greg proposed on Divine Mercy Sunday, and they’ve been married for almost two years now.
When she shares her story of finding love online, Christina emphasizes the importance of prayer. “Prepare yourself in prayer, that’s so important,” she recommends. She spent time in adoration because she wanted to make sure she was desiring Christ first before any relationship.
“Christ desires us so much more than another person could ever desire us. He thirsts for us individually. My husband desires me as well, but Jesus desires me even more. I wanted to be able to desire Christ more than I desired my spouse. For anyone filling out their profile, spend time in prayer.”
We want you to be our next success story! Sign up for an online dating profile on Catholic Singles and start meeting other single Catholics in less than ten minutes.
