You Need a Summer Dating Strategy
It’s pretty easy to get into a rut in our dating lives. A lot of us might use the same apps, websites, and in-person strategies all year round. If this is you, you might be missing a great opportunity to increase your chances of success.
According to many popular songs and movies, summer is the time for new romance. Does this hold true in real life? It’s probably hard to say definitively, but there are definitely some good summer strategies out there to change things up and make you more likely to find that special someone.
Here are six things you can do this summer to reinvigorate your dating life.
1. Get proactive in online dating
You’ll be getting the most out of online dating all year round if you are active on your chosen sites and apps, but this is particularly true in summer, since a lot of singles feel more eager to connect with someone in summer.
Whether it’s because of the good weather, the abundances of weddings, or maybe an unconscious desire to have the romance they’ve seen and heard about in those movies and songs, summer can feel like an ideal time for a new relationship. This means that even on a dating site or app that you’ve had little success with in the past, there might be quite a few new users looking for their summer love.
So on your end, make the most of your online dating account by checking it more frequently for matches and maybe even experimenting with different profile pictures.
2. Watch out for the hookup mentality
While many singles become more romantically-minded during the summer months, summer is also a season when many are looking for a brief fling or an even briefer hookup. In Catholic dating, the goal is typically a partner for a long-term relationship, someone you can discern a vocation with.
Most Catholic singles probably come face to face with the differences in mindset between Catholic dating and secular dating on a regular basis. The summer is a great time to prepare yourself for the low-key (or sometimes high-key) fight for morality that can go on in the dating world.
Read more: 5 Things Chastity Is Not
For some people, this might mean spelling out more clearly in your dating profile that you’re not looking for a hookup. For others, it might mean preparing yourself to have a clear conversation early on with someone you meet, so that they know you’re not willing to hookup.
3. Utilize vacations and consider long-distance
Catholic dating can be particularly difficult because it’s often hard to find someone who shares your faith and moral values. Consider carefully whether you’re limiting your results too much by also only looking for someone geographically close to you.
The summer months are a time when many people go on vacation. So if you yourself are planning a vacation somewhere away from home, seriously consider the possibility of beginning a long-distance relationship if you could meet someone while you’re far from home. Or on the other hand, even if you’re not vacationing you can also be open to situations like this for someone who might be vacationing in your area. And that can happen even if you don’t live near a popular vacation spot.
One acquaintance of mine was visiting family in the middle of a city on the opposite coast from where she lived. On a whim, she decided to search on her dating app for singles available in the area she was visiting. She met someone quickly and eventually married him!
4. Attend summer events whenever possible
Even despite the social distancing and restrictions a lot of places are still facing, summer is the time when many social events are happening. But these restrictions do mean that you might have to look a little more proactively to find good ones to attend. Keep an eye out for things like festivals or concerts that are still going on, and attend with the intention of meeting people. Try bringing a friend of your gender along for encouragement and do your best to be social.
Not only are there more public events like these in summer, but there are also a lot of weddings. Rather than turn down an invite to someone’s big day because you don’t have a date, use the opportunity to see if friends or family or someone’s new in-laws might know someone to set you up with. It can be intimidating to get out of your comfort zone and go to an event or a wedding, but keep in mind that your opportunities for this type of thing will start to dwindle once the fall months come.
5. Let the good weather guide your spontaneity
A lot of people are in high spirits and adventurous moods during the summertime. It just might happen that the person you ask to meet in a couple of hours says yes to you. During the colder months, people can often use the excuse of poor weather if they want to get out of meeting up with someone. Or they can say they’re too tired, and the dreary weather will make it sound quite realistic.
In the summertime, though, the warm weather and sunshine practically beckon people to come outdoors, take risks, and search for fun. Plan to take a risk and do something spontaneous whenever a good opportunity presents itself.
6. Plan realistically for discouragement
As much as the summertime does lend itself to spontaneous love-seeking and romance, the reality is that a lot of people do make plans for the summer. This means that some of the people you attempt to connect with might honestly be busy. Try to keep this in mind, especially as you message people online and struggle to understand whether they’re actually interested in you or not.
If someone says they’re busy, summer is the time when it’s most realistic that this is true. Focus on fighting discouragement and working on being flexible. See if they’re open for another night, or maybe try an afternoon meetup for coffee.
Even though the summertime is probably not as outlandishly romantic and perfect for finding love as movies and songs sometimes suggest, it can still be a great time to look for that special someone if you prepare yourself to make the most out of the season.
Adrienne Thorne is a Catholic wife, mother, screenwriter, and blogger, as well as author of the Catholic YA romance novel SYDNEY AND CALVIN HAVE A BABY. She blogs about TV and Movies from Catholic perspective at Thorne in the Flesh: A Faithful Catholic's Guide to Netflix, Hulu, and More.