There’s a lot to love about online dating. You can meet a lot of interesting new people, possibly from all over the world. You’re empowered to cast a wider net than if you tried to approach strangers to spark romance.
Best of all, you can meet people while you’re sitting on your couch in your pajamas—that wouldn’t work anywhere else!
Obviously, if you’re here on this awesome dating site, you know the merits of online dating. You may have some of your own success stories about great dates and new opportunities. But you probably also have some horror stories of duds and disappointments.
Dating in any situation—online, offline, young, old, divorced, never-married, with kids, without kids—can get tiring. If you’re feeling tired of online dating, don’t worry.
That doesn’t mean you’ve given up on love! It just means you might need to try a new approach.
Here are a few of the most common annoyances that can take online dating from exciting to boring overnight, and how to find a solution!
Tired of the hard work of finding a real match
You set up an online profile, chose your best picture with great lighting, laughed at how fun your biography was, and even worked your budget so you could take advantage of all the premium features. Then? Nothing.
Or worse, you have an inbox full of catcalls, kittenfishes, or catfishes. When it comes to online dating, no type of cat is preferable.
It’s the equivalent of getting all dressed up with nowhere romantic to go, and it feels just as terrible.
If this aspect of online dating is leaving you worn out, you’re not alone. Men and women alike can be emotionally exhausted from this culprit
But more likely than not, it’s got nothing to do with who you are and more to do with the science of online dating. With a little bit of digging, you’ll probably be able to find and fix the issue pretty quickly.
Are your settings too restrictive?
A partner of the ideal age living five miles away with the same three specific interests is a perfect dream. Online dating can help you get granular in your choices, but you need to account for the fact that you’re still dating humans. Humans have lots of variations, so try to keep an open mind.
Change your age range by a few years, your radius by a few miles, and write about more interests for people to use as a conversation starter. Keep tweaking until you find the right combo to win the algorithm.
Does your profile have enough info?
This was a trap I fell into again and again while I was online dating. I wanted to be mysterious and also keep my identity private online. My favorite tv show? Wouldn’t you like to know? Do I like activities? Keep guessing, pal! What makes me laugh? You have to earn that information!
You can probably see the problem. Not only did this make me unapproachable, but it also made me seem like a fake account. Maintain your privacy where it counts, though! Don’t publish your email or phone number or whereabouts. But for everything else, give a little bit.
Make sure you include more than one picture. That’s a telltale sign for a real person—multiple pictures from multiple angles and places!
Tired of the same dates
Maybe by now you’ve drank your weight in coffee because every single new date suggests a “quick cup” on a weeknight. The beauty of a cup of joe is that it’s casual for both parties. But even if your cup of coffee is a full meal, it can still get stale (pun intended) to do the same thing every time you go out on the town.
So here are some suggestions of other meeting places that are just as casual, but make getting to know one another fun. Plus, some of these options may actually help you get to know people better because being active sparks conversation topics other than the basics—which sitting still tends to bring out.
- Mini golf
- Visit an art museum
- People watch at a park
- Paint pottery
- Find a free concert
- Go to a farmer’s market
- Bowling
Pro-tip: skip a movie or anything that keeps you from talking to each other—you’ll miss the whole point of a great time!
Tired of small talk
My 5-year-old stepdaughter-to-be (“C”) just started kindergarten, and she is already sick of answering the same questions from everyone in her life. Her grandparents, her mom, her babysitter, her dad, and me—we are all invested and curious about her life at a new school. But unfortunately for her, we keep asking the same questions.
As a result, when I say, “What’s your favorite part of kindergarten?” she adamantly sighs and says, “I already answered that!”
In a nutshell, that’s what small talk feels like. If you’re tired of asking the same old questions, or you’re running out of questions to ask at all, I suggest the game “Would you rather”.
There are tons of examples online of different questions, and it provides a unique alternative to the regular interview-style of dating. If your date chooses something wildly different than your own, it will provide a good door to a new topic.
My fiancé and I still carry a book around of hypothetical questions to ask each other when we find ourselves with time to kill waiting for a table or for C to get out of school.
Still looking for ideas? Check out this other article I wrote on some of my favorite ice breakers.
Tired of being alone
In one of life’s great ironies, sometimes online dating can actually just wind up making you feel more lonely. At the beginning of a new relationship, no matter how great the date, you end up at home by yourself.
If you’re in a place in your life that this intense loneliness resonates with you, know that my heart aches for you. I’ve been there and somehow no one ever had the words to make me feel better.
Besides this article on remedies for those aching moments, what I can offer you is prayer and hope that there’s more to this world than dating. I love my fiancé but the reason I get out of bed in the morning is because Christ is at the center of my days. That’s a grace you can attain in any season, any age, any vocation.
Getting tired of things every once in a while is only human.
But if none of these hit home with you, or if checking your online dating apps just feel hopeless or more like a chore at this point, prayerfully consider stepping back until it’s something you can find joy in. Spend some time with yourself and your Lord to determine what your heart is looking for.
