Saints are powerful intercessors for us and so we should turn to them as often as possible.
Often in our single states, we choose various saints for various seasons in our lives. Why should dating be any different?
Nothing is better than having a saint to look after you as you embark on a relationship!
How to pick a patron saint for your relationship is a very personal process.
Perhaps there’s a saint you’ve always been close to whom you’d like to continue to bring into this relationship. That’s fine!
Or perhaps you’ve been praying to a particular saint for help in finding a relationship. That saint could be a great one to continue to connect with through the relationship.
But sometimes there just hasn’t been a saint in your life for this season.
Maybe the saints you have been going to don’t seem to fit as intercessor in the relationship.
So how do you pick a patron?
Meet some married saints
Obviously married saints are great intercessors for people discerning marriage!
It’s great to have examples of holy relationships to help us as we work through the muck of a relationship.
Sts. Louis and Zelie Martin are a wonderful example of a relationship not only grounded in Christ, but pointing to Christ and raising holy children.
St. Gianna Beretta Molla is a great model of sanctity in marriage, a marriage as a true partnership, and getting married later in life.
St. Augustine could be good for a person recovering from a sinful past and would be a great person to turn to as a couple.
St. Jude or St. Rita are good if the dating scene really has made you feel desperate, especially once you’re finally in a relationship.
St. Joseph is particularly good for basing your relationship on Christ and serving him no matter the cost. The Blessed Virgin Mary works here for the same reason!
Then, of course, St. Raphael is the patron saint of people looking for a spouse.
Patron saint of a commonality
Do you both really really love coffee or perhaps your first date was in a coffee shop? St. Drogo might be your man!
Maybe you both have an affinity for airplanes or playing frisbee– St. Joseph Cupertino is a great uncommon patron!
St. Lidiwina is the patron saint of ice skaters and St. Sebastian is the patron saint of athletes in general.
Or there’s St. Francis de Sales for a couple focused on the written word, St. Isidor of Seville for those in the cyber professions, and St. Elizabeth Ann Seton for teachers.
Each state also has a patron saint and that person for your home state, state you met your significant other in, or a state you both want to live in would make a great patron for your relationship, too.
Maybe your relationship’s patron should be whose feast you had your first date or decided to be a couple on.
My husband and I happened to have our first date on the feast of St. Ignatius of Loyola. I distinctly remember stopping at a rest stop and praying in my car, asking St. Ignatius to watch over me and my date, to protect both of us, and to get me home safely.
After that, St. Ignatius played a pretty big part in the beginnings of our relationship. My husband was in the Army and as St. Ignatius had been a soldier, he really helped us balance the demands of the military and devotion to and primacy of God.
St. Ignatius also happened to be a previous favorite of mine ever since I had done the Spiritual Exercises.
What to do when you both have or pick different patrons
Perhaps one of you is really devoted to St. Thérèse but the other is really devoted to St. John Bosco because of his work with children.
Take them both!
If you end up married to each other, you’ll find that each of your chosen patrons has a special role in your life– perhaps St. Thérèse would end up being who you turn to when making decisions about children and other daily issues while St. John Bosco would become who you turn to for career and financial advice.
Why wouldn’t you want two patrons! Double the intercession!
Sometimes, too, we find that a tried and true intercessor no longer fits our needs or intentions as well as he or she did in the past or we find a new saint popping up in our relationship a lot.
Don’t be afraid to let a new saint in!
One year, my husband and I used Jen Fulwiler’s Saints Name Generator to pick individual patrons for ourselves for the year.
He happened to get St. Gabriel Possenti who is the patron saint of hand gunners (based on a story from his life). Turns out that I also knew St. Gabriel but under the name St. Gabriel of Abruzzi, the region in Italy he is patron of and where my ancestors are from!
Now St. Gabriel plays an important role in our marriage, alongside St. Ignatius of Loyola and our personal patron saints.
The intercession of the saints is powerful and we should dig into that every chance we get.
Asking a saint who has already progressed on the road to holiness to guide you in your pursuit of it ensures a solid founding for you as an individual and also sets the relationship on solid ground, which will give you clarity as you move forward.
So get picking and get praying!