Once happily married, my sister’s marriage met an unfortunate end. Her husband left unexpectedly and she was alone. A faithful and avid Christian, she used her sorrow to power her through a time of self reflection and empowerment.
Counseling, self-help books, and prayer helped her. She worked hard to come out on the other side a stronger and healthier person. Two years after her divorce, she was ready to step back into the world of dating. But she discovered that it was a world that was drastically different than before.
Online dating was a whole new experience for my sister. She totally immersed herself into the world of online dating, but without much luck. Although she met a few guys here and there, she didn’t find anything deep or lasting. She was active on her online dating profile and responded to messages. But being active online isn’t the only important part of the online dating equation. You can chat and message and reach out to people all day and night.
If you don’t start with an online dating profile that truly conveys who you are, you might be fighting an uphill battle.
Why you need to focus on your online dating profile first
It’s no secret to veterans of online dating that the best way to connect with men or women online is to put your best foot forward with your online dating profile. This is your opportunity to introduce yourself and let people know what makes you stand out. What makes you the person they want to stop and get to know?
My sister Sam* thought she had done the important work just by setting up an account. She checked her online dating profile regularly and browsed the site often. What she didn’t realize was that her profile was too simple and quite honestly, a bit boring.
She’d only included a single headshot in the photos section of her profile, and she introduced herself with a couple of plain, run of the mill sentences. It’s no wonder a great guy didn’t show up at her figurative doorstep after a month online. He didn’t know she was there!
So how should you introduce yourself?
Introducing yourself with a few cliché sentences encourages people to keep scrolling past your online dating profile instead of stopping by for a bit.
While Sam’s profile was error free and grammatically correct, she didn’t have anything that caught people’s attention. Her online dating profile didn’t capture her sense of humor, either. Sure, she looked like a nice girl looking for a nice guy, but there wasn’t much about who she actually was.
Sam spent her first few months of online dating feeling perpetually disappointed. Then, she came across an article emphasizing the importance of a good online profile. After reading it she realized that the problem was right in front of her.
She had some work to do.
What makes you YOU?
What makes you unique? Why would someone want to date you? What is something that makes you more interesting than the next person?
My sister made a list of all sorts of questions like these and developed a witty, interesting profile. She took time to think about how her page would be viewed by the men browsing through the online dating site. She also wrote down things that she liked about other people’s profiles. She picked a few things and tried to incorporate that style into her own.
She put a lot of who she was into the profile without being too wordy. Unique and to the point, Sam created a page that was inviting. With some work, her online dating profile became a place where people came, read about her, and then wanted to know more.
Her page stood out from many other online dating profiles. Once she made those changes, she started meeting people more regularly.
A picture is worth a thousand words
In addition to the massive verbal improvement, Sam added a few candid and striking photos of herself. These pictures captured who she was inside and out. I remember telling her that a picture of her laughing on the beach was much more inviting than the previous headshot she had copied over from her career portfolio.
Read more: 3 Types Of Profile Pictures To Avoid
When people view pictures that make you appear approachable, they are more likely to reach out. It helps to post photos that they could imagine themselves in as well. A selfie at the beach, a candid shot in the mountains, or a party with the background blurred out are just a few ideas. Or maybe you could ask someone to take a picture of you drinking coffee at your favorite local spot, then mention how you’d love to grab coffee with someone there in your online dating profile!
The place you’re in obviously isn’t as important as who you are, but it doesn’t hurt if it’s a nice locale.
Did those edits make a difference?
Less than a month after Sam edited her profile, her online dating experience improved drastically. She started meeting more people and made quick and deep connections.
When you take the time to improve your online dating profile, you see results. Sam went from her first year of online dating being completely unsuccessful to a line of men waiting for her to return their messages.
She didn’t have to seek out people anymore. Instead, Sam was having to pick and choose who she would spend her online time with. It was an exciting and uplifting time for her.
Make a quick edit of your own online dating profile
Time and time again, you’ll hear people say how important it is to spend quality time improving your online dating profile. For Sam, the way she reworked hers likely led her to a great guy, or rather led him to her!
The person that she is now building a future with could have easily passed her by had she never revamped her stale profile. So, when you wonder if taking the time to improve your profile is really worth it, let me tell you: it is.
My sister will always be grateful to those who led her in the right direction and helped her create a profile that would lead to success. Her life is now full of love, happiness and a joy that I’m pretty sure is brighter than it ever was before.
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*Name changed to protect privacy