One of the trickiest parts of online dating comes around sending messages. Maybe you never get responses back, or someone you’re talking with just stops responding back. Perhaps you’re frustrated by the odd types of messages you receive from others. Needless to say, it is not always a cut and dry, simple experience.
From my own story with Catholic dating in online spaces, I have had every kind of experience you could imagine when it comes to receiving messages. Do I have a fool-proof method? Nope, I sure don’t!
However, I’ve noticed from my experience and talking with other single, dating friends there are certain types of messages that generally do better in the response department. Here is a sampling of what those kinds of messages look like.
1. Messages that ask unique questions
Be on the lookout for something that strikes you about the online dating profile you are reading about. Do you see something that sparks your interest? Did you read something unique and you want to know more about it? Include that in your message to this person!
People like to share about themselves and the interesting parts of their lives. If there is something that sparks your fancy about a man or woman’s profile, be sure to ask more about it in that first message.
2. Messages that include an open-ended question
Have you ever been asked questions by someone, but the way they are phrased only elicited a yes or no response? It’s not really a fun or inviting way to encourage more discussion.
When writing and responding to online dating messages, be sure to ask more open-ended questions. This is one way to encourage more discussion and get the conversation going. Instead of asking something like what someone’s favorite season is, ask about a fun memory as a child from their favorite season.
All of us who are on Catholic dating sites are trying to get to know people. Focus on the little ways you can keep the conversation going and engaging. Trying to write more open-ended questions has been a helpful trick for me in online dating.
3. Messages about shared interests
When I would read online dating profiles, I would always look for similarities or interests that it seemed that particular man and I shared. This would help tailor and guide what type of message I would send.
Shared interests are an easy way to build conversation and connection with someone you are getting to know. Have you traveled to similar locations around the world? Do you like the same types of TV shows, movies, or enjoy similar bands? Perhaps maybe you work in the same or a similar work profession. Look for some similarities among both your profiles. It can be an easy way to build a thoughtful message.
4. Intentional follow-up messages
I’m a firm believer in always taking the time to thank a man after taking me on a date. It is kind, courteous, and the right thing to do even if it was not a love connection. If you go on a date with someone you meet from an online dating site, take the time to send a thoughtful thank you message after going on a date.
One early time I did this, I actually had a man share with me how much he appreciated me doing so. He never had a woman do that before. Doing the little things well in online dating (like saying thank you!) can make a difference. Take the time to say thank you because it matters. Let’s do the little things well when it comes to Catholic dating!
5. Thoughtful messages that recognize someone’s dignity
When writing a first message or responding to one you received from someone, remember to be thoughtful and intentional. Take your time to craft a response, don’t just rush through it.
Choose your words carefully. Look for similarities and things you would like to know more about this person. Try to remember you are not responding to just “another” message. Each message you receive and/or respond to is another man or woman putting themselves out there just like you. So be intentional, kind, and thoughtful with your response.
Sometimes in online dating, I have found and experienced that sometimes because you’re engaging via a computer screen it is easier to forget our dating manners. Let’s conduct ourselves in the best way and remember to treat the other how we desire to be treated! Don’t overthink it but always put your best foot forward.
What types of messages that you send seem to get the best responses?
Do you have any helpful tips or tricks that would encourage other Catholic singles?