The start of a new year is one of my favorite times of the calendar year. I love the hope, promise, and expectancy of it all. As a woman who also loves goal planning and making resolutions, I love the promise of a fresh start and trying something new.
I feel like I am the best version of myself when I am learning, growing, or trying something new.
How are you feeling about 2021 as the calendar turned a new page? Are you hopeful, excited, or optimistic? Or are you feeling overwhelmed, anxious, or just plain burnt out?
Wherever you fall on that spectrum is okay, and what you are feeling right now certainly does not dictate how the rest of your year will look like.
For single Catholics, I think the holidays and the new year can be one of the hardest and lonely times. It is important if you feel that way, to acknowledge and name it. However, after naming the feeling, it is important to get up and keep moving. My mom has offered me this advice over difficult experiences in my life: after you feel your feelings, get up and keep moving forward.
As we begin the year 2021 and you are navigating your Catholic Singles account, I wanted to offer some (hopefully!) helpful ideas on messages to send other Catholic Singles.
Share specific, tangible things you enjoyed about their profile
One of the things that frustrated me about online dating sometimes was when I received messages that were vague or felt unintentional. Sometimes I received messages that felt like someone hadn’t even read my profile . Their first messages to me left me underwhelmed and unimpressed.
Maybe you can relate or have had similar type experiences here on Catholic Singles or other dating sites or platforms.
In this new year, be sure to share specific and/or tangible things you really enjoyed about their profile. I find when I do that well, it brings back a better response to me.
If you and I are on faith-based dating sites, that probably indicates we’re all looking for the right person to spend our life with. Putting consistent effort into things like that first message can help bring back and attract better responses. Does that mean writing a killer, good first message will always work for you? Of course not, but we can do our best on our end.
Comment on or ask follow-up questions on shared similarities
Whenever I look at a man’s profile, one the things I look for are similar or shared interests. I also keep an eye out for things I could ask him about to share further with me.
Hmmm he is into fly fishing. I know nothing about that and that sounds interesting to me.
That’s so cool, we both love cooking and Hitchcock movies. I wonder what her favorite films of his are.
Thoughtful, good follow-up questions is another way to hopefully keep the conversation moving forward. I know I always appreciated when a man would ask clarifying or thoughtful questions about me or something I had written on my profile.
In a small way, it helps you feel seen and known by another. At the end of the day, that is what we are looking for in our relationships, especially in a serious dating relationship.
End with an open, inviting question or two
This last tip is something I learned from a video I watched from a female dating coach online. In her video, she was discussing a particular way women can help make themselves stand out from other women online.
This dating coach suggested coming up with a few questions to always end an initial first message with a man. The point was to be thoughtful and connect in a deeper way.
The questions I typically end a first message sound something like this: What are three unique things about yourself most people would not know at a glance? What things are bringing joy to your life right these days?
You can use those, make up your own, or maybe have your own set that is working well for you. I just think this is a nice way to end messages while still bring open to further connection without leaning forward too much.
Do you have style to the messages you send to other men or women? What types of messages seem to get the best response?
What is the best message you have ever received from a man or woman you were interested in?