Alone for the Holidays? Answer These Questions Before Letting Your Friends Set You Up

alone during holiday

Holiday lights and trees. Mugs of warm cocoa with homemade cookies. Snuggling in for a evening of your favorite holiday movies. Ice-skating. Putting lights up on the exterior of your home. Songwriter Andy Williams had it right when he said that this really is the most wonderful time of the year.

However, it does not always feel that way for everyone. Sometimes the holiday season may feel more like a blue Christmas, just like the Elvis Presley.

Let’s be honest. From now until Valentine’s Day, it’s just plain hard to be a Catholic single.

You may feel more tempted to notice the lack of that special person in your life. You may feel lonely, bitter, sad, or even a bit resentful about it. I know I have felt that way before and do still now at times.

You don’t have to say yes to every date, even if you’re lonely  

alone during holiday

During the holiday season especially, it can feel easy to just say yes to holiday dates out of fear of being lonely.

But here’s the thing. That doesn’t mean you have to go on a date with anyone who asks you out.

You get to choose. You do not have to yes to blind date, coffee date, or dinner and a movie.

Sometimes people feel an unseen pressure to yes to every date they are invited on because they don’t know when they will get asked out again. You always have choices. You are not desperate. Do not ever feel like you have to accept every date because you are fearful or afraid there will not be enough offers to come around.

Check you mindset this holiday season 

alone during holiday

In dating, it can be easy to live out of a scarcity versus an abundance mindset.

One bad date or a hurtful experience with getting ghosted, and your mind could be off and running off the deep end: I will never meet anyone. Why do I always end on bad dates with awkward people? Where are all the good Catholic men or women? Why does everybody else seem to find there person?  

You can very easily get off the track in your thoughts and emotions. This is scarcity: believing the lie that it will always be this way or that things will never change.

But an abundance mindset is different. It looks and sounds more like this: I am learning how to date well. I’m getting practice at knowing what I want and don’t want in a relationship. I’m smart, fun, interesting and I have a lot to offer the right man or woman. I will not settle. I am capable of having a healthy, strong relationship. There are plenty of good men or women out there still.

As you approach the holiday season as a single Catholic, do a heart check: Am I living out of an abundance or scarcity mindset?

So how can Catholic singles respond to blind dates or date offers in general this holiday season?

Here are some things to keep in mind or to ask yourself.

1. Do I even want to go out on a date with this person?

alone during holiday

Remember what I said earlier? You do not have to say to every date you are asked on.

I have had to remind myself of this a lot, but never forget that you always have a choice.

2. Would I want to know more about this person? 

alone during holiday

Do you have similar interests? Is there something about the other person you would love to learn more about? If a blind date set-up, do you trust the people setting you up?

3. Are you being authentic? 

alone during holiday

No mask, no trying to be who you think the other person wants you to be. Show up on the date as the best possible version of yourself; not because you need to be liked but because you deeply love yourself as a person. Smile, laugh, hold your own personal energy in strength and confidence.

4. What does your gut say?

alone during holiday

This is just a good, basic principle to develop and strengthen over life. Learn to trust yourself. If you feel comfortable and open with the idea of going out with someone, then have fun. Go for it!

However, if something inside you is hesitant or unsure, pay attention to that sense and feel free to don’t be afraid to say no. Do what feels safe and true for you. At the end of the day that is what matters most.

Regardless of how many dates you go on this holiday season, show up and be your authentic self. Have fun and laugh.

At the end of the day, it’s a date, not a promise to become exclusive or even a marriage proposal. Don’t sweat it. It is just a date.

You get decide to say who you want to spend time with and whom you would rather not.

If you are single and Catholic this holiday season, how are you navigating it for yourself? What is helping you?

While most members here at Catholic Singles are here for online Catholic dating, others are here for fellowship and community. Whatever you are looking for – dating, fellowship, or just a fun group of people who share your faith – Catholic Singles can be your home. Find out more today!