Connecting with someone through personality types and shared interests are a great starting point for online dating. But that doesn’t mean someone who is very different from you won’t end up being a great match for you. However, some people might hesitate to date a person who is very different from them.
Whether the difference is in lifestyle, interests, culture, or other areas, differences can sometimes make online daters cautious. Cultural differences, in particular, can be a common issue that comes up a lot for online dating users.
If you’re open to a long-distance relationship, it’s more than possible that you connect with someone who lives in a country very different from yours. But even if you’re searching for someone nearby, you might find a potential match whose family of origin, traditions, and expectations are different from your own.
While many of us might have friends, acquaintances, or extended family members who have a different cultural backgrounds, dating someone from a different culture can sometimes be more complicated for a lot of reasons. Here are four areas to look at if you are wondering whether it would be a good choice for you to date someone whose cultural background is very different from yours.
1.Your own story
One of the first things you should consider if you’re thinking about dating someone with a different background from your own is your background and story. This question goes a lot deeper than merely a question of whether you view people of all cultures as equals (which we all obviously should!), or if you ever struggle with prejudiced feelings.
What you should consider beyond those questions is whether or not you’re the type of person who is good at being flexible, particularly in areas that are obvious sources of difference between you and the person you’re thinking of dating.
An obvious place to start here would be if the person actually lives in a different country from you. Are you completely set against the possibility of moving to a different country? You certainly wouldn’t need to make plans to move before you start dating someone. However, if you know that you would never even remotely consider living in another country, you might want to think twice about dating someone in another country.
Beyond physical location, you can look at how well your personality meshes with other aspects of their culture. While it’s probably mostly a stereotype that all people from Italy are big on physical affection, and people from England are very non-physical affection, you should definitely consider whether there are certain things along these lines common in the other person’s culture that your personality doesn’t fit with very well.
It doesn’t need to be a deal-breaker if you hate hugs and are thinking of dating an Italian. But a realistic look at what a future with them and around their family will look like is always helpful when making this decision.
2. Future family expectations
This area might be less obvious to anyone who has lived on their own for some time. But in some cultures, there are different familial expectations than in our own. For instance, some parents have expectations of high involvement in the lives of their adult married children. They might have the expectations that their adult children will live with or near them, or that a spouse might work in the family business.
This is another area where your own preferences and personality type can play a big part in whether this should be a deal-breaker or not. If you’re an extremely adaptable person in most areas of your life, you can probably safely assume that you’ll be able to do fine with different family expectations than what you’re used to.
On the other hand, if you are an independent person who isn’t used to having much input in your life from others, dating someone who has different familial expectations could be difficult for you.
3. Shared communication
A lot of the question about whether or not to date someone from a different cultural background fall on you and your own personality. But consideration should also definitely be given to the personality of the other person.
Is the person you’re thinking of dating a person who communicates well and is open to being flexible? In order for any relationship to thrive, both people have to have at least some level of flexibility, and the ability to communicate well.
No matter what the differences are between two people, it takes work for the two of them to get on the same page about the important things in daily life. A person who seems like they’re willing and able to put in that work with you can often be a great person to choose to date, even if they do have a background different from your own.
4. Commonality through Catholicism
No matter how different two people might be, sharing the Catholic faith can be a unifying commonality. Choosing to date someone from a different background who also has a very different belief and moral system from your own is most likely going to be very difficult.
You might share some common interests, but if the sense of connection you can have through Catholicism is missing, it could be difficult to have a lasting relationship.If you chose to date someone who comes from a very different background but is a strong Catholic, you will have a solid foundation of things you agree on and can do together.
Perhaps most importantly, the two of you can pray together and for one another. This can make all the difference as you work to build a strong relationship despite any dissimilarity between your cultural backgrounds.
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