What Yellow-Carding Is and Why It’s Revolutionizing the Way We Date
Sometimes, online dating can be unpleasant.
Having to endure an awful date or two seems to be a typical experience. We may assume that we have to wade through several dates with people who are self-absorbed or rude before we find someone to discern a relationship with.
We joke about bad dates. They’re often a major plot point romantic comedies and sitcoms.
After a few years of dating, we might be kind of resigned to the way it usually works.
But should we be resigned to bad date behavior?
2020 is bringing with it a rise of the online dating trend of yellow carding.
Although some (most!) online dating trends leave us cringing, we’re excited about this one. It reminds online dating users that they don’t have to accept awful behavior on a date.
To yellow card your date means to call them out for behaving poorly, just like a sports referee might give a yellow card as a penalty for poor playing behavior.
Instead of ignoring your date who is blatantly flirting with the waiter or being okay with someone being on their phone constantly, this trend encourages you to voice your disapproval.
Here’s how yellow carding can be positive trend to embrace in your online dating experience.
Yellow carding is a trend of honesty
Most people probably wouldn’t go so far as to say that remaining silent about a date’s poor behavior is the same as lying.
But when you don’t object to a way that your date is acting, you may be letting them think that you approve of their poor behavior.
You may think that your date has to be aware that they’re acting like a jerk. But it’s quite possible they don’t know at all.
Some people tend toward social awkwardness and don’t realize the way their behavior comes across. Others might just think their bad behavior is not a big deal.
A good dose of honesty in this area might be just what the dating world needs.
Though you’re not telling a lie by letting bad date behavior slide, you’re certainly not helping anything either.
Yes, yellow carding may be uncomfortable and awkward.
But as long as you’re honest and charitable, your yellow carding could really show your date how their behavior looks.
You deserve to be treated well
Beneath the idea that having bad dates is just a part of everyone’s online dating experience, a fairly ugly idea lurks:
“It doesn’t really matter how you’re treated. Just put up with it. It’s no big deal if you’re disrespected.”
Whether it’s something you’ve actually spent time thinking about before or not, this lie can influence you in unhealthy ways.
This trend of yellow carding, though, says something very different.
It reminds anyone on a date that they’re worthy of respect and dignity.
We should treat others the way we would want to be treated.
But sometimes we might overlook the fact that we shouldn’t allow ourselves to be treated poorly either.
Catholic singles should adopt this new trend of yellow-carding wholeheartedly. It’s time to embrace this new emphasis on honesty and begin standing up for their dignity in the world of online dating.
Yellow carding is an act of charity
Yellow carding is not a free ticket to rudely tell your date they’re acting like a jerk.
Even if you have the intention of calling out your date in a kind manner, it might be hard to envision it going over well with them.
Your date’s reaction to your criticism might depend largely on their personality, how well you know them, and what kind of poor behavior they were exhibiting.
But even if they are offended by your yellow carding, you are doing something charitable by calling them out.
It’s actually one of the seven spiritual works of mercy to admonish a sinner. We might feel uncomfortable to put the matter in those terms, as if we’re “holier than thou.”
But admonishing a sinner is exactly what you would be doing here, in most cases.
Granted, it is possible that poor date behavior could be a legitimate accident and have no connection to a sinful fault.
But in most cases, behavior like this is at least connected a lack of care for you as a person, or some similar fault.
Yellow carding and red flags
If this is a person you can’t actually see yourself with, it’s still a good idea to tell them that they’ve behaved poorly.
They’ll most likely continue dating other people after you.
They may treat those people the same way they’ve treated you, if you don’t tell them that it’s not acceptable.
So whether this person is someone you want to continue dating or not, calling them out for rude behavior is an act of charity that can eventually help make things better for multiple people.
Let’s hope that this trend of yellow carding really begins to catch on in our world, so that dating can become a more pleasant experience for everyone.
Adrienne Thorne is a Catholic wife, mother, screenwriter, and blogger, as well as author of the Catholic YA romance novel SYDNEY AND CALVIN HAVE A BABY. She blogs about TV and Movies from Catholic perspective at Thorne in the Flesh: A Faithful Catholic's Guide to Netflix, Hulu, and More.