The past few weeks, I thought I’d seen quite a few of them, and then this morning I came across yet another men’s health post telling me how to beef up my arms in time for the summer tank top. It’s not that I have anything against looking great and I’m all for lowering your body fat index before going poolside and ripping your shirt off. I love how our female counterparts shape themselves with dozens of exercises I never knew existed. However, I simply think that what men need most right now is not to look good. We need to become winners.
My opinion is probably biased given my own athletic background. I play a sport where you wrap your hands in medical gauze, step into a ring and face a guy who has dedicated a hundred percent of his workout into doing a better job at knocking you senseless. He has three minutes to do it and the last thing you’re worried about is if your biceps are proportionally cut or if you isolated your gluteus maximus properly. You’re just there to win and anybody watching only wants to see if you can win. Winning is the man’s way of inspiring; our way of pulling our team, family and friends forward. It’s our way of saying to a girl, “Don’t worry, we’re going to make it through.” If we content ourselves with appearances we may impress, but it’s doubtful we’ll achieve that same effect.
Now, I’m not really talking about sports and fitness. What I really want to say is that the philosophy of appearances could sabotage much more important aspects of manhood. Imagine being content with a relationship that looks great but in reality is dying of heart disease. Being photogenic together is nice but we all know that persevering in love after marriage will take more than good looks. It takes a winning philosophy. Set yourself up to win. Execute to win. Don’t quit.
This is a lot different from something like the pre-nup philosophy in relationships: make provisions in case you don’t win, take out the risks and come out on top even if you lose. I’m trying to imagine myself asking my boxing coach, “Can you guarantee me that if something goes wrong in the ring, I’ll come out just the way I went in? I just want to look good; I’m not interested in winning.” And I’m trying to imagine the expression on his face. Let’s not bother with what he would say. Should love be any different?
Guys who look great are all over, but the winners are hard to come by. So I think what we really need to read about is how to get ourselves in shape to become one of them. Maybe if we started in little things like sports and fitness we’d be closer to achieving it in the bigger things like life and relationships. So, work out, look great, go sleeveless this summer but for the sake of universal manhood, guys, please try to win something. If that means getting to first base in Church kickball or finishing 20th in a 50 man 5k, then great. I still think it will do more for others than your reflection in the gym mirror.
