Hey everyone – I actually have the weekend off from preaching this weekend, so here’s a homily I wrote some years back… It’s an interesting experience reading back on some old homilies. Anyway, I hope the Holy Spirit can speak through a “repeat” – ha ha..
The readings can be found at https://www.usccb.org/nab/readings/051709.shtml
God Bless! Fr Jim
When couples are getting married they usually have to go through what is called “Pre-Cana.” For those who don’t know, Pre-Cana is usually an event that has conferences, group activities and lectures discussing the Catholic Understanding of the Sacrament of Marriage. I remember this one couple that I was assisting in preparation for Marriage a few years ago. They had attended pre-cana and came to meet for our “follow-up” session. And I asked them the question I ask every couple: What was the one thing that came up at Pre-Cana that seemed to inspire the most discussion for you guys – whether it was something you struggled with or maybe found the most interesting.
It took them a few minutes to actually verbalize what it was, but when they did, I was pretty impressed with their answer: You know Father, we really had a problem with this whole thing of ‘love being a sacrifice’ – like, what does that mean – what’s it going to cost us? I smiled and said “EVERYTHING – your whole life, your whole heart, your whole being.” They kind of got quiet and sat stunned for a moment, so it was a good opportunity to go in for the kill “You know, when they said ‘love is a sacrifice’ at pre-cana, they were actually sugar coating it. True love means, True love demands that I die to myself, to my dreams, to my wants, sometimes even my own needs because I’ve found something more important in my life than myself…”
It sparked one of the most powerful conversations I’ve ever had with a couple as they prepared to get married. They really wanted to do “the right thing” and said it was their desire was that this marriage would last. But in some ways, this concept of love being a sacrifice, this notion of dying to oneself was new to them (or perhaps they had forgotten it)
Which isn’t exactly surprising. A quick glance at our culture doesn’t seem to reveal much support of “dying to oneself”. Instead we’re being told have your cake, eat it, and eating anyone else’s cake while we’re at it. Celebrity or other high profile individuals often make a mockery of marriage. The ten commandments, God’s first communication with His people on how to live in a loving relationship with Him, have been mocked or denigrated. Even next weekend, we will celebrate Memorial Day in America – a time to honor those men and women who loved this country so much they were willing to lay down their life for it – yet for a majority of Americans, it’s all about the beginning of Summer (and what movies are being released!)
With all of this, its understandable for this couple, or for any of us for that matter, to be confused about what does love really mean. Yet when Jesus says “No greater love is there than this than to lay down one’s life for a friend” – he wasn’t trying to come up with a catchy catch phrase. He was capturing what is the truth and essence of Love.
Everytime that couple has to make a decision that is going to maybe favor one’s position over the other there’s a death. Every time those parents have to put their kids needs before their own, there’s a death. What Jesus tells us again and again about Love is – yes it hurts – yes it can be painful – yes it demands a lot – but, most importantly – yes it is worth it.
