Weighing the Pros and Cons of Long Distance Relationships
When looking for love, the world of online dating has expanded your search far beyond your county line. People who once would have been unreachable, are now available for relationships thanks to modern technology.
Finding someone you click with can be exhilarating, but if they aren’t living anywhere near your zip code, it can also be challenging. Anyone who has ever dated someone from afar can attest to the fact that long distance relationships have their advantages and disadvantages. Before making the choice to date people not physically close to you, be sure to weigh the pros and cons and assess the risk so that you can decide if it’s worth it.
Let’s start with the pros and opportunities.
1. You will always have something to talk about.
Unlike when you spend time together each day, when you’re apart, you have a lot more to discuss when you do come together. How you spent your day won’t be obvious and any decisions you had to make this week or people you spent time with will be a great source of conversation.
Often when people in relationships spend day after day together, they risk losing the ability to continue getting to know each other if they don’t actively work at it. A couple can grow so comfortable with each other that they forget to ask the little questions, and it can cost them greatly. When dating long distance, there’s little risk of conversation growing stagnant because there will always be something new to discuss.
Staying connected in long distance relationships is even easier these days because of awesome online dating sites who cater to helping people stay connected.
2. You will spend quality time together.
What is the saying about quality being better than quantity? Time is a gift, and when spent correctly, can result in an incredible intimacy shared by two people who care for each other.
Not spending every day, or even week together, has its benefits. Couples who have the option to see each other whenever they want, often risk not spending that time together well. When you have limited time together, however, you’ll find yourself being very thoughtful with how you spend it!
3. Long distance dating can keep costs down.
Let’s say you’re two people who are enjoying getting to know each other over the phone and internet. You love good conversation and enjoy the benefits of the time you spend together talking. You’re actually keeping dating costs really low – which will be good because then you’ll have a bigger savings for when things get more serious.
Sure not going out to dinner together and buying flowers and gifts for each other has its advantages and disadvantages, but really getting to know a person means talking and growing together as a couple, which is easy to focus on when going out together every night isn’t an option.
4. Space is always an option…
…and you won’t have to queue up Chicago to help express why you need a little time away. Look, every person in a dating relationship knows how important having your own space can be, and when you aren’t living in the same city, time apart is always an option.
Dating can be exciting without being overwhelming and you won’t have to explain your decision for needing space because you’ll automatically have it!
Ok, so what about the cons?
1. Costs can get high.
But wait, I thought long distance dating could keep costs down? Well, if you’re ok with just talking and seeing each other, it can. But if you find yourselves needing to spend time together in person and make the decision to travel, your wallet will take a hit.
Some people are perfectly find just communicating over the phone for most of their time long distance, but if you’re not one of them, you’ll risk dropping a hefty amount of money and that’s definitely a disadvantage.
2. You may get lonely.
Dating someone far away can be wonderful, but at times it can be downright lonely. Making the decision to try and love (or strongly like) someone from a distance has a long list of advantages, but the disadvantage of limited time together is a pretty big one.
Talking, messaging and keeping in touch electronically just doesn’t allow the same benefits as people who can connect face to face. You may find yourself lonely sometimes after pushing end on your Friday night phone call.
3. You’ll risk feeling jealous.
It happens to the best of us. We think we can trust someone, but feelings of jealousy creep in when we aren’t around them.
When you are worlds apart from the person you’re dating, the advantages of the relationship can sometimes feel small as you think of them out and about with other people on the weekends. You may find yourself questioning your decision and wondering if letting yourself care about someone who has a whole life away from you is worth the risk.
Feelings are crazy things, and they can get a little edgy when you’re two people separated by many miles.
4. Misunderstandings will happen.
He was supposed to call you at 7pm your time, but never did. She was supposed to FaceTime you before her work trip, but your phone didn’t ring. As great as technology is, it can’t ever replace an in person relationship between two people.
It’s wonderful for keeping people connected, but there is always the risk of not understanding a person’s true intent or exactly what is going on when you’re not able to hash it out in person. Definitely a big con in the pros and cons list of dating long distance.
As with anything in life, long distance dating has its pros and cons. The important thing is that you think them through and make a decision that best fits your personality and needs. Are the cons in this list worth the risk of dating someone that may become a life long partner? Do the benefits of the pros make the cons worth it?
Trust your instincts and weigh your options when making this life altering decision. Consider all of the advantages and disadvantages and then take the leap (or don’t) and enjoy the path you choose.
Cassi Villanueva is a freelance writer and contributing blogger at Catholic Singles. Born and raised in the south, when she's not writing, she can be found spending time with her husband and four children in the northern suburbs of Atlanta, GA.