Being single can be frustrating, especially when it seems as if God is calling you to marriage, but forgot to call your spouse! During these times, we need to turn to God. As you navigate Catholic online dating services and discern God’s will, keep these 4 prayers in your heart.
I remember how glaringly obvious my singleness felt in college, especially on the days leading up to Valentine’s Day. Red and pink hearts were scattered across the hallways, and the cafeteria made heart-shaped cookies for dessert that day.
Couples seemed to be everywhere around me—kissing, holding hands as they walked between classes; sitting beside each other as they ate lunch in the union. The reality of being single seemed even harder to handle when everywhere I looked, it seemed like everyone was in a relationship except me.
I turned to God in prayer quite a bit when I was single—or at least, I thought I had a good prayer life. The reality was that my prayer life consisted of yelling at God, or bargaining with Him so that He’d bring that special someone into my life.
Why was I alone when all my friends were dating?
When would it be my turn to be swept off of my feet by romantic gestures?
How long was I going to be single, God?
Prayer wasn’t a conversation between God and myself. Instead, it was a time for me to vent my frustrations at the Lord and tell Him exactly what He should be doing in my love life.
I didn’t appreciate the beauty of most of my time as a single woman because I was too busy looking ahead to the next step. If I could go back to my time in college and my prayer life, I would spend a lot less time yelling at God and telling Him to fix my life, and more time listening to His will and being satisfied with Him.
Looking back, here are the prayers I would have prayed, and recommend every single person struggling with God’s plan pray during their season of singleness:
1. Pray to be filled by Christ alone
Everyone longs to give themselves completely to someone,
To have a deep soul relationship with another,
To be loved thoroughly and exclusively.
But God, to a Christian, says,
“No, not until you are satisfied, fulfilled and content
With being loved by Me alone,
With giving yourself totally and unreservedly to Me,
With having an intensely personal and unique relationship
With Me alone.
Discovering that only in Me is your satisfaction to be found,
Will you be capable of the perfect human relationship
That I have planned for you.
You will never be united with another until you are united
With Me alone,
Exclusive of anyone or anything else,
Exclusive of any other desires or longings.
I want you to stop planning,
And allow Me to give you the most thrilling plan existing,
One that you cannot imagine.
Please allow Me to bring it to you.
You just keep watching Me, expecting the greatest things.
Keep experiencing the satisfaction that I Am.
Keep listening and learning the things I tell you.
You just wait.
Don’t be anxious.
Don’t look at the things you think you want;
You just keep looking off and away up to Me,
Or you’ll miss what I want to show you.
And then when you are ready,
I’ll surprise you with a love far more wonderful than any
You could dream of.
You see, until you are ready and until
The one I have for you is ready
(I am working even at this moment to have you both ready at the same time),
Until you are both satisfied exclusively with Me
And the life I prepared for you,
You won’t be able to experience the love that
Exemplified your relationship with Me.
And this is the perfect love.
And dear one, I want you to have this most wonderful love,
I want you to see in the flesh a picture of your
Relationship with Me,
And to enjoy materially and concretely
The everlasting union of beauty, perfection and love
That I offer you with Myself.
Know that I love utterly.
I Am God.
Believe it and be satisfied.
(Attributed to Saint Anthony of Padua)
2. Pray for trust in God’s plan
My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me.
I cannot know for certain where it will end.
Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so.
But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you.
And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire.
And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road, though I may know nothing about it.
Therefore will I trust you always, though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death.
I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.
3. Pray to soothe your anxious heart
May today there be peace within.
May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be.
May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith.
May you use those gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you.
May you be content knowing you are a child of God.
Let this presence settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise, and love.
It is there for each and every one of us.
(Saint Therese of Liseux)
4. Pray to see the joy in this season of singleness
O Lord my God,
Teach my heart this day where and how to see you,
Where and how to find you.
You have made me and remade me,
And you have bestowed on me
All the good things I possess,
And still I do not know you.
I have not yet done that
For which I was made.
Teach me to seek you,
For I cannot seek you
Unless you teach me,
Or find you
Unless you show yourself to me.
Let me seek you in my desire,
Let me desire you in my seeking.
Let me find you by loving you,
Let me love you when I find you.
Now that I’m married, I can see God at work throughout my entire time of singleness—they say hindsight is 20/20 and I believe it. There were so many instances in my life where God was holding me, carefully placing me just where I needed to be.
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Be Filled with Christ – St. Anthony of Padua
Pray to Trust in God’s Plan – Thomas Merton
Prayer to Soothe an Anxious Heart – St Therese
Pray to See Joy in Your Singleness – St. Therese