The first date. It can feel exciting and scary all wrapped into one.
For a while, it seemed I was going on lots of not-so-great first dates for a variety of reasons. I felt tired, frustrated, and annoyed.
Sometimes I was left feeling defeated, wondering if I would ever go on a good first date that would lead me to the man I would someday share my life with.
Right now, it seems my first dates are getting better and I am attracting a higher value man. I am learning a lot about dating, myself, and what I am looking for in a serious relationship that would someday lead to marriage.
A first date is simply that, a first date.
You might not have sparks flying or perhaps you will. Conversation may flow easily as you discuss your favorite movies, books, podcasts, likes, and dislikes. Or maybe it feel feel awkward.
Maybe you will want to go on a second date, interested to get to know more about this person. Or perhaps you will just have that gut check this is not the right romantic fit for you.
Regardless of how that first date goes, you have choices on how to proceed. You get to decide if this is someone you want to continue to spend time with or if you want to kindly say no thank you to any further dates.
Based on what you think and feel, there are several different avenues to choose from in making your next move.
What to do if you are not interested after the first date
If it is a first date, you are probably fine to send a very polite, kind text letting the other person know that your intuition is telling you this is not the right romantic fit.
Know that you’re not interested after the first date? Then let the other person know sooner rather than later. Be honest and do not string people along.
If you are not interested you can at least look back on the experience as a nice time with a chance to work on your conversation skills.
What to do if you are interested after the first date
Maybe you had a good time with the other person and you’re interested! I think it is nice to send a simple thank you text. This can also let the other person know you are open to seeing them again.
If the man is interested in you, it is likely you will be hearing from him again. Before this happens, think about it for yourself, “Would you be open to spending more time with this person? Would you like to go out again with them?”
Ladies, if you are interested in a man after a first date, do not lean forward or become too attached too soon.
If a man is interested, he will pursue you and let you know it.
Just be open and do not put a lot of energy focusing on the other person.
Maybe you would rather be friends
Maybe the date was not a home run, but you would be open to friendship? You should have that conversation sooner rather than later.
Take some time to think about how you want to convey that to your date. Be honest and kind. Also, remember there is another person on the receiving end of what you will share with them. Try to be mindful of your response and how that might land.
Think and pray before speaking or drafting that text or Facebook message. You are dealing with a real person who has real feelings, deserving of the time it might take for you to consider how best to talk with them about your own feelings. Be gracious and stay true to yourself.
Regardless of whether or not this first date will lead to a lasting love connection, use every date as a part of God’s way to teach you about yourself.
Learn from each first date you go on. After all, dating is one big learning experience. Sometimes you will hit it out of the ball park and other times you will get some bumps and bruises.
Show up as your authentic self. Be kind and genuine. Have fun and use each opportunity to learn and grow.
Now, go forth and date like a champion!
