There are all sorts of reasons and circumstances that can make us decide it’s time to quit the dating app game, or to take a break.
Sometimes, you’re aware of that need to get off and try a different route.
But other times, you may not totally realize you should spend some time away from dating apps.
Here are four times you should really log off for a while (or permanently).
1. You’ve discerned you do not have a vocation to marriage
Okay, so maybe this one is really obvious. But if you’ve discerned that your call is to the priesthood or religious life, a dating app is no longer for you!
Close out all your conversations, say goodbye, and log off. Online dating sites should not be used as tools for friendships, although friendships can come from them.
Dating apps are for dating, so if you won’t be doing that anymore, take yourself out of the equation.
Still want to keep in touch with people you met online? There’s always email and Facebook!
2. You’ve been on lots of dates but nothing has panned out
Take a break! This is legitimate. Sometimes we just need to step away for a while and put our focus elsewhere. This applies a lot in our daily and work lives but we don’t always realize it applies in our personal and dating lives, as well.
Step off the dating app for a while and focus on the friendships and relationships already present in your life.
Strengthening the relationships we already have and our relationship with God is a sure-fire way to reset in our lives and give us renewed hope and focus.
3. There’s no one in your area and you don’t want a long distance relationship
For the most part, no one is going to magically appear on a dating app for you to suddenly date.
If you’ve been on an app for a while but aren’t finding anyone in your area and long-distance isn’t something you’re currently interested in or could commit to, get off the dating site for a while.
Staying on will only lead to despair and despondency. There are other ways to meet people!
Or, perhaps, you’ll change–maybe you’ll see the same profiles in a new light or come to a place where a long-distance relationship would be feasible.
Give yourself that space to change.
4. You’re starting to view people as commodities rather than as people
It’s easy to browse some profiles, read some “About Me”s, swipe right or left, and move on.
It’s easy to start seeing all of the people popping up as matches as “potentials” rather than “alreadys”.
Not everyone is going to fit your tastes or attractions and that’s fine! But when we stop seeing each other as irreplaceable and unrepeatable persons and start seeing each other solely as a set of likes, dislikes, preferences, and looks that either fit with us or don’t, we stop giving each other the dignity we deserve.
If you find yourself mindlessly browsing profiles without intention or seriousness, this might be you. This is probably a good sign that you’re focusing too much on finding someone to be with rather than becoming closer to God through all the circumstances of your life, becoming a saint.
Take a break not only from dating but also from even thinking about dating, focus on your prayer life, and reassess in a couple of months.
Taking a break from dating apps can be just the refresher you need to focus better before getting back in the game. Even if you’re on a good Catholic dating site (like Catholic Singles!).
Remember, your ultimate goal should be a relationship with God. Don’t let a dating app stop you from that.