“Pray for your future husband!” Maybe you’ve heard it from the ladies at church, your friends, or your parents. Their encouragement can serve as a beautiful reminder. After all, how often do we actually pray for our future husband or work our future husband into our Catholic daily readings, both for our holiness and for his??
Pursuing an intimate friendship with Christ is something to invest in as a single person (and continue when you’re married!). While you’re discerning your vocation to marriage though, how is your prayer life? Are you praying for your spouse?
Your future husband is a real man who faces temptations and struggles throughout the day. He has good moments and hard moments. Even though you don’t know who he is or what he looks like yet, God does. He honors your prayer.
If you’re a single Catholic woman, we encourage you to pray for your future spouse. Remember that he is a man created by God! Shift your focus away from praying that he appears in your life and instead will his good through prayer.
In this blog post, we’ll be discussing:
- The importance of Catholic marriage
- What attributes you’re looking for in your future husband
- How to be the partner you want to find
- Catholic daily readings to meditate on as you pray for your future husband
Marriage is an important commitment
In a season of singleness, marriage can seem forever away. But marriage is a beautifully important commitment to think about even if you’re not dating any one at the present moment. In fact, research has discovered that the single most important factor in keeping a marriage stable over time is a strong commitment.
Dr. Scott Stanley, a commitment researcher, says that commitment consists of two parts. He calls these the “want to” and the “have to” parts of commitment. The first part of this important commitment is personal dedication to the marriage. This means that you’ll strive to prioritize your relationship and share goals with each other. The second part of commitment in marriage is constraint. This means persevering when the going gets rough.
So, in sickness or in health, marriage is a covenant that requires a major commitment.
Husband and wife become one
Back in the very beginning, God had marriage in mind. After the Lord created Eve out of the rib of Adam, Adam woke up and exclaimed, “This one, at last, is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh!”
The author of Scripture goes on to explain that this is “why a man leaves his father and mother and clings to his wife, and the two of them become one body.”
You may not be able to become one flesh with your future husband until after the wedding ceremony is over, but you can strive to become of one heart and mind now. Pray daily to the Lord so that he can help you become of one heart and mind with him and his plans. Then, pray that your future husband can walk along a path of holiness, becoming of one heart and mind with the Lord, too.
What attributes do you look for in your future husband?
If God calls you to the vocation of marriage, what qualities are you looking for in your future husband? Romantic comedies, novels, and social media may influence your criteria, making your list look something like this:
- He’s handsome (maybe the perfect combination of Brad Pitt and Matt Damon)
- He has an incredible sense of humor and is always making you laugh
- He’s intelligent, well-read, and encourages interesting conversation in your time together
- Always up for something new, he pushes you out of your comfort zone with fun adventures
- He likes the same things you do, and is always down for a coffee date
- Your family would love him, and his family would embrace you with arms wide open
- He shares goals with you and your life together – and a shared faith life would be great
Conscious or subconscious, the qualities and attributes you’re looking for in a future spouse influence the men that you’ll be interested in and go on dates with. But looking back on that list, there’s something that’s missing. While the list emphasizes the way that you’d love to find this man attractive, there’s very little on the list when it comes to values and shared beliefs.
If you want to prepare yourself right now for the romance of a lifetime, make sure to define your own values and qualities. What does the best version of you look like? By identifying your own values, goals, and dreams, you’ll be able to find shared meaning with someone. The happiest couples are those who create shared meaning in their relationships. So looks, interests, and family of origin will look different for every couple. But if you have an end goal in mind together as a couple, the areas you don’t agree on will look a lot less scary.
Be the partner you want to find
Defining your own values and goals also helps you make sure that you’re not forgetting yourself in the process. It’s easy to desire a long list of qualities and characteristics from your future husband. But what about yourself? What qualities and attributes are you sharpening in your own life in order to become a better future wife?
Right now, as a single Catholic woman, is a great time to dive deeper into your relationship with Christ, family, and friends. It’s also prime time to start kicking bad habits to the curb and embracing a holy, healthy lifestyle.
How do Scriptures play into your values and interests?
If you’re looking for a concrete way to pray for your future wife, look no further than Scripture (the Bible has plenty to say about love and marriage). God’s word lays out many of the attributes and characteristics of good, holy men and women.
Ask the Lord to help you achieve these qualities and values in your own life, then pray for your future husband, too (and don’t worry, we are telling guys to pray for their future wives as well!). Your prayers can be a source of encouragement for him on the path to Heaven, especially on the days when the call to holiness is challenging.
4 Bible verses about marriage for him
If God were to put together a list of a good, holy, Catholic husband, what would he say? It turns out that he’s already made that list, over and over. He inspired the authors of Scripture to write about the qualities of a strong, holy man. Here are four Bible verses about marriage and holiness to meditate on when praying for your future husband.
“Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ loved the church and handed himself over for her,” Saint Paul reminds us in Scripture. True, Christ-like love requires the ultimate sacrifice.
Pray today that your future husband can grow in courage and sacrifice, ready to die to himself everyday for the good of your marriage.
“Two are better than one: they get a good wage for their toil. If the one falls, the other will help the fallen one,” the author of Scripture writes. “But woe to the solitary person! If that one should fall, there is no other one to help.” This verse emphasizes the importance of community.
Even though marriage is beautiful, you and your future husband will both still need community. Today, pray that your future husband invests into healthy, wholesome friends who encourage his journey to Heaven. Pray that his friends will be there to pick him up when he falls into temptation. Then pray for good friends for yourself, as well!
“This is why a man leaves his father and mother and clings to his wife, and the two of them become one body,” the author of Genesis writes. While it’s beautiful to pray for your future husband, don’t forget to pray for his family, too.
When you marry each other, you’ll marry into each other’s families. Pray for the strength of his parents’ marriage, and his family faith foundation.
“Where one alone may be overcome, two together can resist. A three-ply cord is not easily broken,” the author of Scripture writes. During your prayer time for your future husband, pray for his relationship with the Lord.
The two of you together can resist the temptations of the devil. But with the Lord in the middle of your relationship, your three-ply cord will not easily be broken.
Preparing yourself for marriage is just as important as choosing the right person
Remember to pray for strength for yourself just as much as you pray for your future husband. While you are praying for him to grow in holiness as a man of God, he may be praying for you to become the woman that God has created you to be! Take active steps in your daily life to become that woman.
“Older women should be reverent in their behavior, not slanderers, not addicted to drink, teaching what is good,” Paul writes in his Letter to Titus. “They may train younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled . . . so that the word of God may not be discredited.”
Spend time with holy women regularly. They can not only provide a great listening ear as you discern your vocation, but can be an example of holy femininity in your life. Ask for their advice and listen to their wisdom.
If you haven’t started praying for your future husband, start today! But remember, this shouldn’t be a prayer petitioning the Lord to introduce this man into your life right now. Instead, let your prayer be a prayer of daily surrender to the Lord and his plans for your future marriage. Pray that your future husband strives for holiness, and then continue to strive for holiness yourself, too!
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