A dating app called Plenty of Fish recently released a list of dating trends that they predict will be popular in 2021. The results were based on their survey of more than two thousand singles. Many of these trends have a very 2020-spin on them, including a new trend called “Apocalypsing.” Apocalypsing a relationship means that you immediately begin treating a dating relationship with great seriousness, as if it could be your last.
An attitude like this could be pretty problematic in today’s modern dating landscape. It’s always a good idea to ask yourself whether you’re getting too attached too quickly. But apocalypsing as a trend can also be a positive thing for Catholic singles who are dating with the specific end-goal of marriage in mind.
Here are three things you should know about this new dating trend called apocalypsing.
Why do people apocalypse?
The origins of this trend aren’t that hard to decipher as we navigate through a year filled with sickness, lockdowns, conspiracy theories, and those rumors about murder hornets. It’s probable that dating experts looked at world events and identified this tendency that singles might have to put immediate pressure on a new relationship as something stemming from feeling like the world could actually end soon.
Is there a little more to it, though? Probably.
Anyone who has been single for some time probably understands the excitement and high hopes that can come when they go out on a first date with a person who seems like a good fit for them. It’s easy to get emotionally attached, even in normal circumstances. But then you add in the increased isolation that has come into a lot of our lives this year. It’s no wonder that apocalypsing is a trend.
All of us are starving for human connection. In normal circumstances, we crave friendships and meaningful interactions with others. Even if you’re an introvert, you still feel this at times. But in 2020 circumstances, that desire for connection has increased all the more. Many of us lost daily interactions with coworkers and had other aspects of our social lives limited or totally cut off.
So if you think you might have a tendency to apocalypse, don’t freak out. It doesn’t mean that you’re like those doomsayers who actually think the world will end in a week or two. Apocalypsing is less about a legitimate fear of the world ending and more about a natural hunger for meaningful relationships.
Apocalypsing can be dangerous
Secular dating is too often focused on hook-ups and short term flings. It’s not hard to see why apocalypsing won’t work out well for you. But for Catholic singles, this trend can be unhelpful in other ways.
When you’re just getting to know someone, there is always a delicate balance between the excitement you feel over the potential and the emotional caution you need to take because you don’t really know them. If you’re diving all in emotionally, you might be setting yourself up for heartbreak. Giving too much of yourself emotionally before you know much about the other person can also put you in a headspace to miss big red flags that this person isn’t for you.
What’s more, the modern dating landscape isn’t set up for this kind of quick emotional attachment. Even among Catholics where there will hopefully not be any of the hookup mentality that’s prevalent elsewhere, there is still often the understanding that a first date is casual and uncommitted. Many Catholics think it’s perfectly fine to go out on casual dates with multiple people back-to-back, because you’re really just getting to know one another.
Don’t make the mistake of going all-in emotionally with someone who sees your interactions in a very casual light themselves. Not only can it lead to a lot of pain for you, but it can also end up spooking the other person if you end up coming across as a bit out of touch with how modern dating tends to work.
The positive side of apocalypsing
The fact that apocalypsing is becoming a dating trend can actually be a pretty good sign for single Catholics. Even for Catholics who are well-versed in modern dating and know quite well that casual is often expected at the start of things, it can be really comforting to know that others out there are starting to take the end-goal of dating more seriously.
While the rest of the world is having their hookups and pretending that life as they know it will literally never end, we Catholics have always been counter-cultural. We see marriage and family life as a worthy goal, and we try to keep the last things in mind on a regular basis. A dating trend that has a tendency to look at dating in a more serious light and consider that a fleeting hookup won’t be fulfilling can help bridge this disparity between Catholics and the culture.
Could it really be that our views of dating as a search for a marriage partner, and our ideas about keeping our eventual death in mind as we live our lives, start to become mainstream? Wouldn’t that be great!
The trend of apocalypsing might not necessarily mean anything quite that exciting, but it’s certainly a promising hint that we might not end up looking so weird to the rest of the world after all.
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