5 Things Catholic Women Should Look for in a Man
Not everyone would agree on what sorts of qualities women should look for in a man, to have the best possibility of a successful relationship.
When it comes to Catholic dating, the answer to this question might be a little different than it would be in the secular dating world. No doubt personal taste can definitely influence which qualities a woman might think are important or even essential in a potential husband.
But when a woman begins such a search on a Catholic dating app, there are a few qualities to look for that are universally pretty helpful for a potential future marriage.
Look for a man who has a prayer life
You’re not necessarily going to stumble upon a saint while you search a Catholic dating app in hopes of finding a spouse. But you just might be able to find someone who is striving to be a saint.
Looking for a man who is able to love you sacrificially in marriage? A good place to start is to look at what kind of prayer life he has.
A man who has no prayer life whatsoever is most likely not going to be ready to have a relationship that is solidly rooted in God. If his faith comes down to only going to Mass on Sunday and nothing more (or not even that), he probably has other priorities in life that he has placed above his faith.
On the other hand, a man who prays daily is opening himself up to God’s grace. He’s willing to give God priority in his life and will therefore be more open to growing in virtue.
When it comes down to it, virtue is one of the most important components to making a successful marriage.
Keep an eye out for someone who values chastity
A large number of people in our modern world have little to no regard for the importance of purity. Even among many people who consider themselves to be Christians, the virtue of purity is often not given a lot of thought.
It can be a great first step if a man intends to save sex for marriage. For women seeking a holy Catholic dating relationship and hoping to find a spouse, this should be a bare minimum. But often, the mere intention of premarital abstinence isn’t enough.
Read more: 5 Things that Chastity is Not
If a man intends to save sex for marriage but doesn’t take the extra initiative to make purity a priority in his daily life, chances of success in this area aren’t strong. What does this mean, concretely?
A man who takes purity seriously will usually be doing things like actively praying for grace in this area, working to maintain custody of his eyes, and have at least some concern about the level of sexuality present in movies or TV he watches.
These types of things won’t necessarily be totally obvious to a woman while doing an initial search of dating profiles on a Catholic dating app. But it’s definitely something that should start to become clear about a man after a date or two with him.
Look for a guy who is is able to apologize
In far too many marriages, spouses fail to apologize when they’re wrong. Or if anything, they might give their spouse a cursory “Well sorry, but you –,” type of apology that shifts the blame off of themselves.
When you’re looking for a good man to get to know better, it’s really important to understand whether he has the ability to truly apologize.
Both people are bound to make mistakes in a relationship. They’ll hurt each other and make poor choices. So there’s no point in looking for a perfect man. But there is definitely a point in looking for someone who can admit when they’re wrong and apologize.
Without the ability to apologize to one another, it’s difficult for couples to grow to real emotional intimacy.
Take a look at how he treats his mother
This one isn’t necessarily pertinent to Catholic dating in particular, since even many worldly people suggest looking for a man who treats his mother with respect.
But this really can be a good indication of how a man truly thinks about women.
A man who treats his mother well is often a man who will treat his future wife well. A man who treats his mother poorly is often a man who won’t give his wife the respect she deserves.
There are a few caveats with this, though. For instance, some men have really troubled relationships with their mothers through absolutely no fault of their own. Others might come from broken families or other unusual circumstances that greatly influence their relationships with their mothers.
One area to look at if this is the case for a particular man you’re interested in is his relationship with the Blessed Mother. A man who is devoted to Our Lady is often a man who will treat his future wife with great love and respect.
Look for a guy who appreciates inner beauty
It’s probably a given that you don’t want to date a guy who’s shallow. But for women who are blessed with physical beauty, it might not be as obvious that this one is a big deal. But if he’s only or mainly attracted to you for your looks, you could face a real problem at some point in the future.
It’s not necessarily always possible to tell whether a man appreciates inner beauty initially in a dating relationship, but it should definitely start to become apparent pretty quickly after a few dates whether he appreciates all of you or just your looks.
Look for a man who can honor and respect you for who you are: a beloved daughter of God.
Adrienne Thorne is a Catholic wife, mother, screenwriter, and blogger, as well as author of the Catholic YA romance novel SYDNEY AND CALVIN HAVE A BABY. She blogs about TV and Movies from Catholic perspective at Thorne in the Flesh: A Faithful Catholic's Guide to Netflix, Hulu, and More.