Most of us have heard of great online dating success stories from our friends, relatives, and even random acquaintances.
But if you begin online dating with an expectation of instant success yourself, you’ll most likely be disappointed.
A lot of people trying out online dating for the first time might find themselves wondering why they’re not getting many messages.
There can be a lot of different reasons why this might be happening to you. But rather than try to pin down the “why” in this situation, it is more helpful to focus on concrete ways you can improve your chances of connecting with other people on online dating websites.
Here are eight things you can try if you’re not getting messages from other singles on your online dating platform.
1. Fill out your profile thoroughly
If you’re not getting many messages from other singles, the first thing to consider is how complete your own profile is.
Have you left a lot of sections blank?
Have you worked to make sure that your profile is an accurate description of who you are?
It can be difficult to convey who you are through words on a screen, so a lack of messages doesn’t mean that you are unlikable or uninteresting.
But if you aren’t seeing messages in your inbox, it’s more than possible that you haven’t put enough work into your online dating profile yet.
2. Try to make your profile unique
Even if you have filled out every available section of your online dating profile, you still might not be getting messages.
If this is the case, consider whether you’ve put down any information that makes you stand out.
Try looking through profiles of people you are interested in connecting with, and ask yourself what it is about their profile that interests you.
You could even try browsing through a few profiles of people who are the same gender as you to get a better idea of what others have said about themselves, to see what works and what doesn’t work.
However, definitely avoid this tactic if you know you are prone to jealousy or comparison.
3. Take a good profile picture
In the world of Catholic dating, we might like to think that we’re all above empty shallowness and the trap of judging a book by its cover.
But let’s be honest. Looks do matter when we meet someone or attempt to connect with someone online.
Do looks necessarily matter as much in Catholic dating as they would on a secular dating app? Hopefully not, but your profile picture is still your first impression upon others.
There are more things to consider when picking your profile picture than your physical appearance, though.
Make sure you have a good quality picture of yourself. A blurry or otherwise poor-quality picture can be distracting and make you look like you didn’t care very much about your online dating experience.
You can also make sure to wear flattering colors and to avoid weird things in the background that could distract someone from who you are.
4. Ask friends for input on your profile
We might think something sounds or looks fine only to discover from a neutral third party that we missed something important.
If possible, ask a friend or relative to look over your online dating profile when you’ve finished it.
At the minimum, they might catch a typo or two. But they also might have really good ideas on ways to improve your profile overall!
Another set of eyes can be very helpful in this area, especially if you are the kind of person who finds it difficult to talk about themselves.
5. Make use of the polls
One feature of CatholicSingles.com that can be helpful for encouraging people to send you messages is participating in our polls.
If you answer a poll question (or several!) and your answers are displayed on your profile, these are instant conversation-starter material for anyone who is interested in connecting with you.
It could very well be that your special someone has already found your profile but can’t think of a good way to start a message conversation with you. Answering a poll or two might be just the thing to get that conversation started.
6. Ask good “really wants to know” questions
On CatholicSingles.com, there is a profile section that allows you to post questions that you would really like to know about someone you’d consider dating.
This can be a helpful way to start a conversation in the Catholic dating world. Some Catholics feel very strongly about different aspects of their faith and long to connect with others who share the same passions.
The “really wants to know” section is a great way to showcase the things in life that you care about most and to connect with others who feel the same way.
7. Send some messages yourself
Online dating is a two-way street. If you’re not getting any messages, consider how many messages you have sent to others.
If you find someone online that you’re interested in and you want to connect with them, don’t wait around for them to message you. Take the first step and send a message to them!
Being proactive in sending messages might be the difference that helps you get to your online dating success story and your happily ever after.
8. Start by asking God for guidance
In Catholic dating, we should remember that we can turn to God when things aren’t going the way we want.
Sometimes we might fall into the trap of thinking that asking God to help us in something like a lack of online dating messages is silly. We might think it’s too trivial a matter to bother him with.
But that is simply not true. God cares deeply about even the most trivial aspects of our lives. He wants us to ask him for help in everything, but especially in this quest to find someone with whom we can eventually live out the vocation of marriage.
Catholic dating can be very difficult, especially when it begins to feel like we will never find that special someone.
So ask God for help and rely on him for assistance in finding someone that you can spend the rest of your life with in marriage.
