The first thing we often notice about a man from a long way off is posture; and one of the first things your parents may have told you when you were old enough to sit in a chair was, “Sit up straight, don’t slouch.”
I never understood the why of the “don’t slouch rule” beyond the simple idea of making a good impression, in which case, as long as you’re not around other people it’s fine. And even if you are around other people but don’t care to impress them, it’s fine, again, to slouch.
However, recent research shows that making a good impression on ourselves may be more important than making a good impression on others and body posture can have a lot to do with that. That’s part of the thesis that social psychologist Amy Cuddy tries to draw out in her book Presence: Bringing Your Boldest Self to Your Biggest Challenges. The book is an “oldie” published in November, 2015. However, recently I’ve been asked by women repeatedly why men today can’t have more confidence so I see fit to resurrect a resource you’ve probably already read.
We can’t all pray on a mountain for a week and contemplate our purpose in order to gain inner confidence but Dr. Cuddy shows you can start by incorporating more of what she calls “power poses” into you day. Pull your shoulders back, take up some space, sit up tall, for starters.
From the reading, I got the impression she’s done millions of studies to back up these claims but I’m sure the actual number is actually a few below that. Amy Cuddy does do her research.
One way postures affect our well-being is through our hormone levels, testosterone in particular. In a man-world ever complaining of low-T, it’s certainly a point of interest. It’s one thing to have good posture and another to know when to have it. We can’t all go walking around with gorilla chests all day. People would think we’d really have something to prove. So try first engaging in positive body language immediately before important social interactions or unfamiliar circumstances. This will boost self-perception before you enter into your engagement. These could be interviews, dates, and even written exams.
We all want to bring the best of ourselves forward all the time and to have that noticed from both a long way off or close up. If something as easy as body posture could help, I’ll definitely give it a shot. Check out “Presence” from your local library if you’re thinking the same.
