My most recent book promotion took me to Denver, Colorado where a few things happened.
First of all, I coincidently went snowboarding on Copper mountain for a bachelor party. I think the best bachelor parties are the ones that test some man skill like endurance, confidence, or athletic ability. Carving black diamonds for eight hours a day in the Denver mountains will do all that.
Snowboarding on Copper mountain is something I’ve wanted to do for 10 years. Up until now it has somehow always eluded me. However, I’ve learned that sometimes things in life come to you after a while at the right time when you will most enjoy it with the right people to enjoy it with. You don’t wait around for it to happen. You work for other things like friendships, your professional development, your faith; you try to learn more, get in shape, become a better person and somehow that thing you wanted happens.
Next, I spoke for Denver Catholic Speed Dating. It is the first time I’ve spoken about dating to a group that has actually come together to go on dates. I shared with them research I’ve done on confusing things about dating. These are not just my opinions. In my work with Catholic communities I have taken the time to survey them and ask them about their dating experiences, in particular, what they find confusing about dating. A few top contenders are, “How much time should I spend with someone?” and “Is it actually a date?” One easy way to clarify these things is to ask the person you are going out with. Another way is to just tell them: “Let’s go out once a week. This is a date.”
Next, I spoke to a Catholic professionals dinner club. The topic was how to build commitment between you and someone you are dating. Sometimes we are not even sure if we want to be committed to someone because we have mixed feelings about him or her. Sometimes we actually do want to commit but do not want to take the chance of having our heart broken. It is a topic I touch upon in my book and one I’ve researched also.
One thing that makes commitment hard today is that we often look at commitment as a virtue that some people have and others do not. In reality, commitment is a science that is two sided. Everyone can achieve and at the same time we can help our significant others achieve it. When our significant others do not commit it is often because we ourselves have not done the right things to facilitate commitment.
Over the next few months I will speaking for other Catholic professional and university groups around the country, stay tuned and if you are in the city, please come out!