Should You Ask Out Someone You Just Met?
Thanks to the hookup culture that’s emerged in recent years, it can be particularly hard for Catholics to know what’s appropriate when it comes time to ask someone out.
What gives someone the wrong impression?
How do you start a holy relationship with someone?
Then, add in the basics of awkwardness and the uncertainty of mutual attraction. Needles to say, things can get even more confusing.
One Catholic Reddit user posed the question, “Would you go out with someone you just met?”
He proposed the situation of meeting someone at a Catholic event, talking with them for a couple of hours and getting along great. Then he asked whether, in such a situation, it would be a good idea to ask the person out that night.
Or, would it be better to wait?
Other Reddit users responded with some great advice on the question of whether or not it’s a good idea to ask out someone you just met.
Will you seem assertive? Or creepy?
“I think women are so used to passive ‘see-where-this-goes’ men, that someone with initiative would stand out and be more unforgettable. Go for it,” one female Reddit user said. For her, asking someone out that same night sounded like a great idea.
In our modern dating landscape, a lot of people are weary of meeting people who don’t even use the word “date” and just want to casually “hang out” to see where things go.
Asking out someone you’ve met right away might just distinguish you a bit.
Another female Reddit user agrees that this sounds like a fine idea, but she was cautious. “I would invite her to meet you somewhere for the date. I am not comfortable with you knowing where I live until I feel like I know you better.”
This is great common sense in our day and age. Even when we’ve met someone in person, it’s not always easy to tell with one hundred percent certainty that they’re a good person and not some weirdo who’d like to stalk you.
So if you do opt to ask them out immediately, make sure you’re not prying into personal information or asking about any intimate details of their life.
Even if you mean no harm by it, you could easily send up some red flags this way and ruin your chances.
What’s the rush?
How can you really know whether it’s too soon to ask someone out? It’s not always clear, but there are definitely some signs that it would be better to wait.
Another Reddit user who said that the worst-case scenario would be getting turned down. “I would hate to get a no simply because it was too soon,” the original poster responded.
Does the person seem very clearly to be into you? Or are they being friendly with other people beside just you?
“Just make sure you’ve talked to her long enough to get a sense for whether she likes you,” a Reddit user cautioned.
“I went to a Catholic event once, barely talked to a guy (it was mostly a group conversation) and towards the end, he asked for my number,” she went on to say. “It was awkward because we hadn’t really talked and I didn’t feel like I had given him any sign that I was interested in him.”
if things between you and this person you’re interested in are in this vague, don’t rush.
Consider that waiting just a bit longer might solidify the answer to whether they’re interested in you or not. Waiting might give them time to realize how great you are. Taking your time might end up saving you both some awkwardness.
The answer is….there is no answer
“Bottom line: there is no objective answer to your question,” a Reddit user cautioned, summing up the situation.
He said that you have to read the situation to figure out whether it’s a good idea to ask someone out this quickly or not.
“This is one of those areas where emotional intelligence comes into play. You have to realize that every woman (and man) is different. If you’re interested in dating someone different than you, you’re simply going to have to pay attention to their cues and respond accordingly.”
He said that the way to develop this emotional intelligence is through practice and self-confidence.
Reading other people’s reactions and inferring their preferences isn’t something that comes naturally to all of us.
One thing that might be helpful, though, if you’re struggling to read situations like this is to ask a friend’s opinion.
If someone you know and trust is there with you, you can ask their advice and try to figure out if you do seem to be reading the situation correctly.
They may agree with you that the person you’re interested in does indeed seem to be interested in you as well. You might just be safe to try asking them out already.
As confusing and sometimes stressful as situations like these can be, God will take care of making sure you find your way to the special person he has planned for you in the long run.
Adrienne Thorne is a Catholic wife, mother, screenwriter, and blogger, as well as author of the Catholic YA romance novel SYDNEY AND CALVIN HAVE A BABY. She blogs about TV and Movies from Catholic perspective at Thorne in the Flesh: A Faithful Catholic's Guide to Netflix, Hulu, and More.