4 Ways to Avoid Disappointment When You Finally Meet Someone In Real Life
It’s not uncommon these days to meet someone through an online dating app. But after getting to know someone through a screen, it’s always important to meet someone off the screen and in real life.
If the idea of meeting someone in real life causes you to break out in a cold sweat, you’re not alone. In fact, the person that you’re hoping to meet in real life is probably just as nervous as you are. You may click well online, but just what would conversation look like if you were across the table instead of across a screen from the man or woman you’re getting to know?
Whether you’re jumping on an airplane or taking a quick car ride across the city for a first date, here are four ways you can avoid disappointment when you meet someone in real life for the first time.
1. Be honest in your dating profile
Avoiding awkward and disappointing first dates begins long before you send or receive that first message on an online dating app. It all starts the moment you create your own profile.
Are you looking for a committed relationship? Don’t be afraid to say so. Would you rather go on some casual dates and get to know new people in a new city? Put that in your profile. Being up front with the intentions behind why you’re on the online dating app in the first place helps set the stage for an authentic encounter.
It’s tempting to stretch the truth a little. But the biggest thing to keep in mind for online dating is authenticity. This doesn’t mean that you’ll find the perfect match the first time you meet someone in real life, or that everyone else who has a profile on the online dating app you’re using is being honest with their profile. But it does mean that you’ll be able to go on dates and know that you’re being authentic with the man or woman you’re getting to know better.
2. Check your expectations
Some butterflies in your stomach before you meet someone in real life for the first time is totally normal. But even if you’re calm, cool, and collected, it’s a good idea to examine your expectations before meeting off screen.
What are you hoping for when you think of your first date with someone you met through an online dating app? Have you thought through the date so much in your head that you’ve already planned out every minute of your first encounter?
Romantic comedies have ruined first encounters for Catholic singles today. Television shows depict “love at first sight” moments. If you’re hoping for a Hollywood moment, you’ll probably end up disappointed when the person you meet isn’t an actor or actress reading off of a script. Instead, you’re meeting someone in real life, and they won’t be perfect!
That doesn’t mean you can’t get along well with the person you’re meeting, or that you won’t have great conversations. But it takes time to build friendships and romantic relationships. Don’t expect to know by the end of coffee or a hike that you and this person are meant to be. After all, this is a first date, not a marriage proposal.
3. Meet in public
There’s something romantic about picking up your date for the first date, or being picked up by someone who wants to get to know you. But if this is your first time meeting someone in real life, skip out on the carpooling and meet in public.
Pick a meeting spot that is populated but not too popular. After all, the point of meeting each other in real life is to get to know each other. If you’re meeting at a loud and crowded bar, you may spend most of the night shouting above the crowd and catching half the responses in the conversation. Check out your local coffee shops or ice cream spots, or think about hitting your favorite restaurant after the dinner rush for appetizers or dessert.
Although we hope your first date is a great success, it’s always good to meet in public just in case the date doesn’t go as well as expected. If you don’t feel safe or comfortable in the date, it’s okay to cut things short and end your time together. Since you met at a public place, you have your own transportation home.
4. Skip the traditional dinner and a movie
The go-to first date is dinner and a movie. However, if you really want to get to know someone in real life and off of the online dating app you met on, you should suggest a date that’s more unique. This isn’t to say that grabbing dinner and a movie together makes a bad date. But the evening doesn’t allow you to really get to know each other.
Instead, spend time doing something that allows you to have authentic conversation. If you prefer a more active idea than chatting over coffee or dessert, try a fun activity. Hit up the golf course or go for a walk together at a local park.
Want more ideas for your first date if you’re ditching dinner and a movie? Check out these fun ideas!
Looking for a great online dating app?
Can Catholics use mainstream dating apps successfully? The short answer is yes. Occasionally, two faithful singles will connect with each other in the vast sea of non-religious men and women on most apps.
But Catholic online dating apps like CatholicSingles treat dating (and the people who are dating!) with the respect and purpose that comes from recognizing the dignity of the person. We have developed an app designed to help singles like you find the like-minded people who share your values and are looking for exclusive, long-term, faith-filled relationships.
The CatholicSingles online dating app lets you share your purpose, your experiences, your hopes and dreams, and details about how you practice your faith.
Whether God leads you to that special someone right away or he asks you to continue being patient, you’ll feel like a part of a supportive community of people who understand and share the values you live with every day. Check it out today!
Chloe Langr is a very short stay-at-home-wife, whose growth has probably been stunted by the inhumane amounts of coffee she regularly consumes. When she is not buried in a growing stack of books, she can be found spending time with her husband, geeking out over Theology of the Body, or podcasting. You can find more about her on her blog "Old Fashioned Girl."