Q & A – Feb 19

Hi Father Jim:

Last July I went to the Catholic singles symposium, where we learned stuff. One of the things I learned was that if you have impure thoughts that is a capital sin.   And if you are in capital sin you can not take communion.. so, I had confession on Saturday during the conference and got communion that evening… well, by Sunday afternoon I was on capital sin again. I have been away from Church since, I feel so lost.

I have always had an active imagination.

I do try to keep myself extremely busy with work, helping my family, helping the soldiers, learning this and that, exercise. you name it, still I get these thoughts. Maybe I am at the grocery store or at the office and I see someone I like, or would like to kiss!

Last Saturday I went to confession I prayed my 6 Our Fathers and by Monday I had already thought about having sex with someone I do not even know.. Sometimes I think about kissing someone or having sex.

Now again, I have to go to confession so I can take communion..

I figured the only way I can take communion is going to confession on Saturday morning, hoping that by vigil mass I have not screwed up already.

Help me, how do priest manage? I felt so lost when the priest told me on Saturday pray 6 Our Fathers, I mean is there something else I can do? could you help me? at least tell me a technique to avoid the thoughts,

Thanks!

THANKS FOR YOUR QUESTION – and even more, sharing something difficult like this that you are struggling with.  Many people struggle with “impure thoughts” – some don’t even realize they are being affected by them with a constant barage of images that inspire those impure thoughts.

You mentioned that you learned at a Catholic Symposium that impure thoughts are a capital sin.    to be a little more specific – according to the Catechism of the Catholic Church, capital sins are “pride, avarice, envy, wrath, lust, gluttony and sloth.”

Capital sins are dangerous because they encourage other sins.  So for example, envy can lead to evil thoughts and actions against a person I’m envious of.  We have to take those thoughts and feelings serious so that they don’t grow into something even more serious and become a mortal sin.

I have to admit, I’ve never counselled anyone who’s committed a “capital sin” not to receive communion.  So that’s a bit surprising to me. Capital sins, particularly the instance you’ve mentioned, are important to deal with – but we’re dealing with a “thought” not an “action.”  If your impure thought led you to have a sexual relationship – then we’ve moved from Thought to action (and with that action, we’ve committed a mortal sin). 

We are to refrain from going to communion when we’ve committed a mortal sin and haven’t gone to confession.  So I think the fact that you are aware of your struggle with this, are trying to be proactive about it (going to confession on a regular basis) are signs that you are trying to turn away from this sin.  So I would not agree with that advice of not going to communion when you’ve had an impure thought.

One reason is that can put incredible pressure on someone to the point that they can become obsessed in trying to avoid this sin they end up doing more harm than good for ourseles. 

The best thing to do is what you’re doing – Go to confession regularly, try to do other things when you realize you’re thoughts are going in an “impure” direction and then move on.  Not get stuck with “Oh now I’ve had an impure thought, now I have to go to confession becaues I can’t go to communion.”  That’s giving your thoughts even more power and hold over you than they deserve!  

Sometimes we cannot control our thoughts – BUT, and here’s the key thing, we can control our actions. 

May we pray for one another that we will always respond to the Loving Mercy of Jesus who came to heal us of our sins…

God Bless, Fr Jim