Dear Fr. Jim:
I have returned to the Catholic Church after a divorce in 1995. At the time, I felt totally unworthy of participation in the liturgy and sacraments. I was raised in a very traditional Catholic family and divorce was unheard of. I still feel this way, particularly around those who have been able to keep their marriage truly sacramental.
I am curious about the Church’s current thinking regarding divorced Catholics and would like information on the value of an anullment. I have felt like a “second rate” Catholic!
Dear Friend:
Thanks for writing and sharing, what I can imagine is a painful and difficult topic for anyone to address. The emotions that people go through from a divorce range from hurt, to disbelief, to anger. It saddens me to see couples who at one point, at one time were very happy suffer so much.
What saddens me even more is when people, for whatever reason, feel disconnected from the Church during one of their worst times in their lives. At the time when people feel possibly the most vulnerable and lonely in their lives is when they need Jesus the most! So hopefully I can help address a couple questions:
1 – “Divorced Catholics” are not “second-rate” Catholics! In fact, I don’t know who would fall into that category and am usually wary of any one who uses those types of distinctions to classify people.
2 – It is not a “sin” to get divorced. It’s a painful, sad reality that the Church mourns along with all those who have to suffer through that reality.
3 – So a divorced person shouldn’t feel excluded from the sacramental life of the Church, but rather should utilize them (particularly the Sacrament of Reconciliation and the Eucharist) as the sources of healing they truly are.
4- Where there’s confusion is when a divorced Catholic remarries outside of the Church. In that case, then a person has disconnected from what the Church teaches in terms of marriage and should not receive the Eucharist. But again, that doesn’t make someone a second rate Catholic, and I would hope that their local parish priest would be helpful in counseling and guiding that person to get them reconnected with the Church.
I’ll answer the second part of your question about Annulments in next week’s Q & A.
God Bless,
Fr. Jim
