Q & A – 1/14/10

Dear Father Jim:
Maybe you can help clear up some confusion.  I recently was engaged and my fiance and I have started looking at dates to get married next year (2011).  We found a couple of dates in March of next year and had kind of zeroed in on two dates.
 
Here’s the problem – when I shared the dates with my family – they said “that’s during lent of next year… you can’t get married then.”  Up until then, no one – the parish I had contacted or the priest I spoke to (briefly after Mass) had any reservations.  Is that true that we cannot get married during Lent?  Why would my grandparents know that and no one from the parish?  HELP!
Sincerely – CONFUSED

Is that Sincerely Confused, or Sincerely, confused?

Sorry – couldn’t resist!  First off, CONGRATULATIONS on your upcoming nuptials.  My prayerful best wishes that this time of engagement is a fruitful time of SPIRITUAL growth as you prepare to offer those life-changing, radical, loving vows to one another.

OK – so the whole Lent marriage question.  Have to admit, you made me go through a bunch of old books and notes from seminary on this one!  Not that I didn’t know the answer to your question, but assumed you were looking for some citations.

I have to preface this – I was born in 1973 – almost 8 years after the Second Vatican Council had concluded.  So, my understanding (from my parents) was that before that time, you could not have a wedding in the Catholic Church during Lent because of the penitential nature of the season.

I remember in Seminary this being referenced to when they were explaining that IT IS PERMISSABLE to get married in the Catholic Church during Lent (and advent).

In the introduction to the RITE OF MARRIAGE (that was implemented in 1970, basically making all previous editions of the rite no longer in effect) paragraph 11 states “When a marriage is celebrated during lent…” and then mentions that the couple and those assisting in preparation be sensitive that the penitential nature of the season dictates that decoration in the Church is simplified to reflect the seriousness and solemnity of the season.

The point is in saying “When a marriage is celebrated during Lent” – the Church has basically indicated it is permissable (otherwise it would simply say, “it is forbidden”)

I hope that helps clarify things.  Some of these liturgical changes can be confusing to some of our older members, but as noted, this has been in effect since 1970.  It shows that the Church still has work to do in explaining it’s teaching and when changes take place.

CONGRATS again on the upcoming wedding!!!

Father Jim