Men, I would like to share some insight with you from the female perspective when it comes to taking good profile photos on online dating profiles or dating apps.
First, let me share where I am coming from. Before I met my boyfriend, I was on four different online dating sites or apps (including some Catholic dating ones). I was going on lots of dates because I wanted practice in becoming a healthy dater, and I wanted to get a good sense of what I was looking for in a partner.
One of the most frustrating things for me as a woman, was sometimes the double standard I saw in online dating profile pictures. Women were expected to be beautiful and have these gorgeous photos of themselves. Meanwhile, I found that sometimes, men would not put in the same effort in their own photos.
Often it felt like I was supposed to be stunningly glamorous while I would see a lot of bathroom selfies in t-shirts or pictures posing with the dog without a shirt on.
I cannot tell you how many weird messages I received from men (maybe you have had men or women do the same to you!) where their photos were shall I say, less than intentional. It was frustrating to say the least, especially when I was seriously dating to find a good man. Not taking time to showcase good photos made me feel like some men weren’t really taking dating seriously.
Men, I am not trying to slam you, honest! But from the female perspective, here are some helpful things to do and more importantly, not do. Let’s start by taking a look at what not to do when selecting your profile picture for your online dating app profile.
Stop taking selfies of yourself in the bathroom
First of all, no woman wants to see you taking a picture in the bathroom. That is just plain weird. I hate to admit how many I have seen over various sites and apps.
Take off your hat and sunglasses
Women want to see your handsome face! Do not make your profile picture hard to see or decipher what you look like. We want to see your blue eyes, strong smile, and kind face!
Leave the poses with your dog behind
I am sorry it needs to be said. I can understand that you love your pet (or fishing if that is in your profile picture!) but your profile picture is an initial first reaction. Come out strong. Give it your best shot. Save your dog or the fishing rod for additional pictures in your profile.
Don’t forget to be yourself
Yes please be yourself, but don’t be weird. You don’t need to throw me a hip peace sign or pose in a “tough-guy” type manner. Be your real, authentic self. Remember, a profile picture is a quick initial first impression to a woman, so make it your best effort.
Show us your joy
A great smile can make a good profile photo great! From a woman’s perspective, a vibrant, strong smile is attractive to me in a man. It says he is confident about himself and carries a strong presence. What woman wouldn’t find a great smile attractive?
Take the lighting into consideration
Good lighting not only brightens your face but can enhance the quality of a photo. Try to avoid darker lighting or taking pictures indoors when possible.
More often than not, outdoor pictures seem to be best, but if you have indoor pictures make sure they are clear and the ladies can see your handsome face.
Be choosy with your profile photo
When it comes to selecting your profile photo, be intentional. It is good to be choosy with what photo you make your profile picture. All of your additional photos should be intentionally selected, too!
Pick photos that you feel confident, joyful, or happy. When we look our best, we often feel our best. Consider photos of you with family or friends, on travel adventures, or incorporate your unique hobbies and interests.
Remember that professional photo you took at work a few years ago? Use that one. Do you have a sharp photo of yourself in that great blazer and tie? Upload that one!
One of the things I most hear from my Catholic female single friends is they are looking for men who lead with the best and are intentional towards women. When it comes to your pictures gentlemen, don’t be afraid to come out strong! Those little extra touches will take your profile from average to great.
At the end of the day, I think we’re all trying to do our best when it comes to online dating. Sometimes it helps to get a perspective from the opposite sex.
Thanks for listening to what I had to say, gentlemen! I promise it comes from a place of love and the hope you will find that special someone!