How to Change Your Online Dating Habits for the Better
Online dating is a commendable experience. If you’re in the throngs of an online dating adventure, take a minute to pat yourself on the back. You are so committed to the pursuit of your vocation. But meeting people on online dating sites isn’t the easiest thing in the world to do. Online daters face their own set of challenges and triumphs.
Maybe at the moment, you’re feeling more challenged than triumphant. If you’re not getting the matches you want on dating sites, don’t give up. Online dating ebbs and flows just like any other online traffic. But here are some ideas if you want to see how your current approach measures up to some tried and true tricks of online dating.
If you were applying for a job, you wouldn’t send your resume and then ignore your email for weeks! You’d be checking regularly, staying in touch with connections you’ve made and dedicating a portion of your day and your spiritual life to that endeavor.
Treat online dating the same way. Sure, your profile will work for you whether you’re online or not. but that doesn’t mean it is just a net you can return to later and expect to see it overflowing with options. You need to do a little bit of the work on the dating sites you chose.
That means putting time and care into your conversations, your attention to detail, and your profile.
Keep it fresh
An easy way to show that you’re active in your online dating profile is by keeping everything up to date.
Change your photos and bio often. You don’t need to update your dating apps with a daily selfie or anything. But if you’ve changed your hair or your body type has changed significantly, try to keep your profile as up-to-date as possible so people on the site are seeing the real you.
Be proud of who you are
When it comes to you and your bio and pictures, be honest! Be proud!
Don’t hide behind certain angles or outlier opportunities to make yourself seem different. You are interesting and attractive enough just as you are! The more transparent you are, the better the quality of your potential matches. They’ll be falling for the real you right away, instead of feeling duped.
Speaking of how awesome you are, being sure of yourself means being sure of your partner. Don’t shy away from being choosy when it comes to online dating. There’s nothing wrong with passing on people you don’t have anything in common with.
Trust the process. Your matches may will not all lead to long-term relationships. But that’s not a reason to pursue something you don’t feel is right for you. Be patient and the right person will come across your beautiful, honest site profile soon enough!
Don’t take yourself too seriously
If you’re in it to win it when it comes to online dating—as in, ready to get married, like, yesterday—that’s fine. But you don’t need to feature a list of “must-haves for the spouse” in your profile anywhere. Keep that list in your heart and as you get to know like-minded people, measure them up to it.
But from the start, remember that dating is meant to be fun and lighthearted at first. Let yourself be a little silly. Quote your favorite TV show, write about your go-to comfort food, make silly faces in some (not all!) of your pictures.
Your goal in your dating profile isn’t to find a husband or wife. That’s the goal of dating. The goal of your dating profile is to attract interest to begin the dating experience.
Don’t wait to meet up IRL
I don’t mean meet right away—definitely feel comfortable first. But don’t let it get pushed off for so long because you’re just nervous.
Emotions will be less likely to fizzle if you can continue to build a relationship face to face. Suggest meeting for something simple like coffee or an evening drink, and see how your connection with a match translates in person.
Doing this will not only increase your changes of maintaining the connection you established on mobile dating apps, but if it seems like you’re not clicking as well face to face as you did online, you may be able to get a better understanding of the impression your profile is making.
Consider taking a step back
If you’re not seeing the results you want in online dating, consider taking a step back. Maybe it’s not the right time for you to jump into the world of online dating services and romantic relationships just yet. If you are trying to date when your heart isn’t ready, that’s probably apparent in the way you present yourself or the conversations you have. There’s nothing wrong with waiting a little bit!
Above all, pray for your potential matches! Pray for the success of your matching pursuit. You will not be left out to dry.
Erin is a Catholic writer living on the windy plains of Kansas. She loves reading, dark chocolate, sunflowers, and learning to cook.