How Dating Can Be Like a Lukewarm Americano

Catholic Dating is like an americano

“This Americano is really watered down; and it’s lukewarm. Can you remake it?”

The time this week when I had to ask.  The barista obliged and a minute later I had a real cafe Americano and I was happy and the barista was happy. Everyone was happy.

The alternative would have been to drink my mediocre coffee with a frown and think bad thoughts about his man-romper. That would have accomplished nothing.

Sometimes You Need to Ask for What You Want

In dating and relationships, some people do that. They never ask for what they want, they never get what they want, and they end up thinking the world is a lame place that doesn’t make sense.  The world is not a dud. The truth is you just need to start asking for what you want, starting with the good coffee that you are paying so much for.

Asking isn’t just part of being a man, but it’s especially important for a guy in relationships given that nearly all relationships begin with an ask. A good man has the guts, courage, and I-don’t-give-a- to ask someone out, but most of us don’t do this enough. Why?

Asking is tough because it makes you vulnerable. Even something as simple as asking someone to pass the salt puts you in a position of level one trauma rejection.

Nobody wants that. Nobody wants to hear, “No you can’t have the salt.” It takes a person who is extremely self-secure to handle that type of rejection. A lot of us aren’t that confident.

“Ask and you shall receive,” (Mt 7:7) Jesus calls all men to ask more. It is in the Bible even.

How Much Asking is Too Much?

How much is too much asking? If I didn’t have a job and wanted a job I’d probably ask for one 3-4 times a week and carpet bomb HR departments with my resume.

Being single is basically like being relationship unemployed. So you need to ask a lot if you want to get out of it. Ask, ask, ask, and eventually someone nice will say yes.  Guaranteed.

If a man is going to get what he wants in life, he has a lot of asking to do. If you are really lucky you will get about a tenth of what you ask for over the course of your life. So if you want a soul mate, you know what you need to do.

Ask. Ask. Ask.