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How to Tell People You Met on an Online Dating App

Sep 13 2018 Avatar for Cassi VillanuevaBy Cassi Villanueva
How to Tell People You Met on an Online Dating App

Once upon a time the only way to meet someone was over a beer at the bar, while out on an evening walk after dinner, or at a singles group in the basement of your Church.

But times have changed!

With the rise of technology and the increasing use of social media, online dating has become a cultural norm.  Instead of setting up dates at the coffee shop on the corner, people are meeting in chat rooms and on online dating apps and it’s producing some pretty happy results.  

Even the happiest of results can lead to some pretty awkward conversations, however, if you aren’t quite sure how to tell people where and how you and your partner met.  

In this article we’ll cover

  • Why you shouldn’t be embarrassed about where you met someone
  • What you may be nervous about when it comes meeting someone on an online dating app
  • 3 ways to tell people you met on an online dating app

Read on to be empowered about how to tell people you met on an online dating app.

Ever Felt Embarrassed To Say “We Met Online”?

friends talking

You’re at a social gathering with friends having a great time when a couple starts talking about how they met.  They share s a ridiculously romantic love at first sight story. Everyone else is swooning. But you’re wondering how in the world you’re going to follow it up and tell everyone you met your significant other online. 

Telling someone you met online doesn’t carry the same archaic inference it once did. However, telling people you met on an online dating app can seem a lot less fun to share than telling people you met in an adoration chapel during evening prayer.

That being said, the days of meeting on the internet carrying a stigma are long gone.  

Online dating has become as trendy as the paleo diet. There is no reason to stress out about letting people know that your guy or girlfriend was first a cyber friend.

A Few Years Back, Online Dating Would Be Seen as Desperate.

online dating

One of my friends from college had been traveling the world doing mission work for years.  I always thought she’d end up with some man from halfway around the world whom she met while kayaking down the Nile.

She had met someone and dated for a few months. Whn she called to fill me in, my jaw dropped when she confided to me that they met through a computer screen.  

Desperate times call for desperate measures, I guessed.

They had both hesitantly been using a Catholic dating app. When they came across each other, the connection turned into an instant friendship.  That friendship was immediately questioned, though. People asked a lot of questions when they heard the two met online and not in a Church singles group.

Sometimes stigmas we carry are hard to shed. Up until recently, online dating definitely carried a stigma. The web was a place you turned to when you were desperate, not the normal hangout like it is for today’s generation.

In Reality, Online Dating Is The Second Most Popular Way Singles Meet

online dating

Regardless of how people used to view online dating, it has now become one of the most popular ways for couples to meet.  If you think about it, it’s not really that surprising. Most of our communication these days is digital.

Google. Snapchat. Facebook. Twitter.

The list goes on and the computer apps grow longer by the month.  Most of us have relationships with friends, family and coworkers online. It only stands to reason that we would meet and get to know our significant others online, too. 

People are busy and often separated due to demanding work schedules and life in general.  Beginning and maintaining a face to face relationship isn’t as easy as it once was.

Today, most people don’t spend their lives in the same town/city in which they were born. Rather, they travel the world and cycle through various jobs and living situations.

Technology allows us to experience relationships in a way we never have before.

So Why Are We Still Embarrassed?

woman raised eyebrow

We send evites instead of paper invitations. Often, we’ll send a text instead of calling someone on the phone. At work, we video conference instead of sitting around the table at the office. We’re more likely to shoot out a quick e-mail instead of sending a letter.

We shop, go to school, and teach online.

It only makes sense that we would also date online, right?

So why is it that even though the web is the second most popular place to meet online,  people still embarrassed about it?

Not Your Typical Fairy-tale Love Story

romantic couple

Maybe you grew up listening to your grandmother talk about how she met your grandfather while nursing his wounds in a tent at Vietnam. Perhaps your uncle bragged about how your aunt would whistle each morning as he passed by on his paper route.

There’s a sort of sentimental aspect about a fairy-tale love story. Men and women both love to fall in love with those stories and memories. 

Online dating can be romantic, effective, fun and practical.

But it’s definitely not your typical  fairy-tale love story.

“I swiped right and he said yes,” may sound a lot different than the story that you were hoping to tell your kids someday. Maybe it’s not the story you dreamed about as a child or expected to share with the friends of your past.

 You might Wonder What It Means For Your Faith

holy cross

Some people are embarrassed about online dating because they wonder what it says about their own faith.  You may wonder, “Why haven’t I just met someone through my Church?”

“Would God really want me searching for a future spouse on the internet?  Wouldn’t He have just placed him/her right here in front of me?”

But the perfect partner is not (at least not usually) just going to be placed in front of us.  Sometimes searching for them is a part of our spiritual journey. That journey can take us many different places.

Whether you met someone online or at a Bible Study, faith can still be one of the foundations of your relationship. Maybe you clicked on a profile instead of shaking someone’s hand on a first date. That doesn’t mean that Jesus suddenly jumped out of the equation.

One of the greatest aspects of Catholic online dating apps in particular is that they attempt to bring people together who are walking the same faith journey.

 Your Own Apprehensions Against Online Dating

online dating

Sometimes we are our own worst enemies.  Maybe it’s your mother’s voice in the back of your mind warning you against online predators and people trying to take advantage of you.

Maybe it’s your own judgement that you’ve passed on others who have dated online.

Did you grow up with an idea of how you would meet your future spouse?  Was meeting them online out of the question?

Often we get hung up on the concerns that we’ve allowed to penetrate our minds and they can make us fearful about taking a chance outside of our comfort zone.

We should never feel less about ourselves because we met someone in a way that was unexpected.  The important thing in this situation isn’t the “how”, but the “who”.

 Fear That People Will Make Fun of You or Think You Are Desperate

gossip

We’re all human. We care about what others think about us and the decisions we make.  The fear of being made fun of is a very real and sometimes debilitating concern.

Because meeting on a dating app may not be the most traditional form of meeting someone, it may cause you to worry about the fact that others may judge you.

We all want to appear confident in who we are and “admitting” to people that you had to turn to the internet to meet someone can feel defeating, and even desperate. It’s not desperate. 

Letting fear about how you met someone control your feelings can make you feel reserved and even embarrassed when in reality you should be joyful about the new person in your life.

3 Tips For Telling People You Met On An Online Dating App

First, Change Your View About Online Dating

online dating

Gone are the days of snail mail and landlines.  Communicating online isn’t abnormal, it’s THE norm!

It doesn’t make sense to be embarrassed about something that’s become as mainstream for dating as FaceTime is for families.  

Voters cast ballots digitally instead of manually. Children have traded in the  standardized tests bubble sheets for computer keyboards. So too, the dating world has moved into a less traditional, but more practical way of keeping up with society.

Second, Be Confident!

men talking

When telling someone how you met, don’t hem and haw around the topic . Don’t offer any “wells” or “buts”.  

Own your dating story and be excited about it.

Maybe you and your partner would never have met has you not run into each other on the web. Tell people that!  How lucky and blessed you are that you were able to find each other against all odds!

Are you in a happy, holy relationship? That’s what really matters. 

Third, Make It Fun

friends talking

Smile, be confident and laugh through the funny stories that will inevitably come when you get to know someone over the internet.  

Maybe she worried that you were using a fake picture. Perhaps he wouldn’t accept your friend request be he was worried you wouldn’t agree on politics. People love a good story, so don’t be afraid to share yours!

Often instead of people being shocked or judgmental about your online dating place, you’ll find that they are intrigued.  Maybe, just maybe, they will wonder why they didn’t take the plunge into the world of online dating as well!

Conclusion 

It’s 2018 and dating online is in.  So you met on an online dating app?  Own it!

Be proud of the fact that you met your person and enjoy sharing the story of a relationship that began with the click of a button.

Avatar for Cassi Villanueva

Cassi Villanueva is a freelance writer and contributing blogger at Catholic Singles. Born and raised in the south, when she's not writing, she can be found spending time with her husband and four children in the northern suburbs of Atlanta, GA.

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