We’ve probably all heard the first impression is everything.
Yikes, no pressure.
For some of us, thoughts like this might be paralyzingly scary. This is especially true when it comes to that first impression with a person we’re interested in.
But no need to worry. Making a great first impression on someone you’re hoping to date doesn’t have to be intimidating.
Here are four tips to help you make a strong first impression, when you’re interacting with someone online (or face-to-face!).
1. Confidence is key, but arrogance isn’t
When it comes to the matter of confidence when approaching someone you’re interested in, there can be two common mistakes on opposite ends of the spectrum.
On the one hand, coming across as lacking confidence can be a real turn-off. Imagine if someone asked you out but seemed convinced that you probably wouldn’t be interested in them. Not really a selling point on the part of the person asking.
But on the other end of the spectrum, it’s not good to appear arrogant and full of yourself. Your love interest may get the impression that you’re doing them a favor by showing them any interest at all. That kind of attitude is likely to make them roll their eyes and reject you.
The best bet is to shoot for confidence that is grounded in humility.
Approach the person with the knowledge that you do have something to offer and are a worthwhile companion. You might be able to give the person a fun time, possible even a fulfilling relationship. But it’s not a given.
Interacting online takes away the opportunity for physical displays of confidence, like standing up straight and making eye contact. But the words you use and the attitude your words express can still show that you’re confident, just not overly full of yourself.
2. Put your best foot forward, but keep your first impression honest
This tip is especially true for online interactions. It can be tempting to exaggerate your good qualities online in order to appear more attractive.
Don’t exaggerate. Don’t use an old, younger profile picture of yourself, or tell the person you just met in person that you’re an expert bow-hunter (when you’re not). The truth will come out.
Even small exaggerations can turn out to be pretty big turn-offs when the truth comes out. Revealing the truth may be a big embarrassments for you.
Yet, it’s still a good idea to put your best foot forward. If you really are an expert bow-hunter, you can say so at an appropriate opening in the conversation. There’s no need to be shy if you truly do have some hidden outstanding qualities that the other person would probably find interesting.
3. Authentic interest goes a long way
Most of us like to talk about ourselves if we have an interested audience. Don’t hesitate to show the other person that you are an interested audience.
Ask questions about the other person’s life and interests. If you’re interacting in person, convey through your body language that you’re actively listening. Interest like this can quickly get the message across that you’re attracted to them.
But do be careful not to overdo it. If we’re very strongly interested in someone early on, it can be easy to jump ahead too quickly.
Don’t ask details of their lives that are overly intimate, and don’t ever venture into the stalking territory to find material you can ask them about.
When in doubt, ask yourself how you’d feel if the other person was asking you something similar. If you’re still not sure, try running the scenario past a friend or family member that you can trust.
4. Be upfront about your faith life
Are you serious about finding someone who is strong in their faith and who accepts how important the Catholic faith is to you? If so, it’s a good idea to be open about where you are at in your faith life.
The same could be said about any characteristic you prioritize in your life and hope to find in a mate. But we tend to downplay the role of faith in our lives when we’re not sure the other person is on the same page.
If the person you’re interested in has no interest in dating someone who is a strong Catholic, they might not be a great fit for you anyway.
But you may just find out that they’re quite into their faith as well. If that’s the case, showing that you’re a devout Catholic will only make you more attractive to them.
Read more: 8 Faith-Based Relationship Deal Breakers to Keep an Eye Out For
There was a sign in the youth group room of my parish growing up that said, “There is nothing more attractive than holiness.” That’s true even to people who don’t yet realize why holiness is attractive.
Don’t be afraid that showing your authentic devotion the Catholic faith will hurt your first impression. There’s a pretty good chance it will do just the opposite.
