Dear Michele,I had the opportunity to meet a single gal through this site. We are a considerable distance from each other. Everything was going well until a few weeks ago she informed she got married so she would be able to travel to see a sick child. I was both shocked and bitter. She had first ask me for assistance, so I felt betrayed. From what I know of her, she was very involved in her local parish and attended a number of classes in Catholism. Why would some one do this while at the same time professing the word of God???
Signed,
What it means to be Catholic
Dear What it means,
I can certainly see why you would be confused about what happened. It sounds like she was presenting herself in a certain light, and possibly only to elicit support from you. I’m not sure the type of assistance she approached you for, be it financial or to get married, but I am assuming that you did not feel comfortable providing it to her. That is good. Listen to your gut. I must also suggest that since you live quite a distance away, she may have been dishonest about being active at her parish, or even Catholic. There is really no way to know.
But, I don’t want to condemn another person’s actions. She may be in a desperate situation and felt as if she had to do anything she could in order to be with her child. The protective nature of a mother can be very strong. However, entering into a relationship with someone who is in a place of desperation, or who is unable to be honest about his or her life situation and intentions, is a recipe for disaster.
Of course it’s disappointing to think it’s possible an active, faithful Catholic would use the sacrament of marriage in way for personal gain. But it does happen. Simply being Catholic does not protect us from simply being human. Flawed, selfish, sinners .. each of us struggles with being on this side of heaven. A shared faith does not mean that another person’s behavior will always be honorable. I know we so wish that it would, and our faith teaches that behavior is equally important as belief (why we believe in faith AND works as a part of Christ’s salvation plan).
Don’t give up hope. My belief is there are more Catholics that practice their faith in their life then not. And continue to live my your own values. They very well may have kept you safe in this situation.
God Bless,
Michele Fleming, M.A.
