Retro Dear Michele: Should I List a Younger Age?

Should I List a Younger Age?

Dear Michele,

I would like to know if it is legal in any sense to list a younger age that you are on the dating site, and what to except if the recipient should find out.

Signed,
Should I List a Younger Age?

Dear Should I List a Younger Age,
Thank you for being honest enough to ask the question. I chose to post your email because I get so many inquiries from people who meet someone and then find out that they lied about their age.

You Shouldn’t Have to Hide Your Résumé

About Hiding Your Résumé

I’m not sure if I would use the term “legal,” but it’s certainly not ethical to list your age as younger than you actually are. I would ask you to examine why you want to appear younger? At the same time, I want to recognize that we live in a culture that constantly focuses on younger being “better.”

Society does not honor aging, even though it’s the way that God has designed each of us. In His plan, as we age we become wiser and we learn to let go of those things that do not serve us. We have the opportunity to grow in our faith and grow in our learning of how to “do” relationships.

I would take the time to explore your motivations. Do you feel insecure about being your age? Do you hope to meet someone younger, so that you will feel or look younger? Do you not like meeting women your age because it reminds you of your age?

Remember, too:  Deception is way overdone online

Deception is way overdone online

Whatever the reason for listing a younger age, it is never a good idea. When, and not if, the recipient finds out, then you are starting out the relationship with a lie. She will likely be disappointed that you were not honest. She may start to question other things you have told her, question your motivations, and begin to see you as a person who lacks authenticity and maturity.

Dishonestly reflects your character, and not in a positive light. If she is younger, then you deny her the right to decide if she wants to meet someone your age. Lying to draw a person in is simply not of the moral and ethical values of this site, or of our faith.

Again, thank you for asking; I don’t want to sound harsh. But I do want to encourage you to list your real age, and then explain in your profile how “fun-loving” and “young-hearted” you are. And remember, there is no reason to hide your age, just aim to mature emotionally and spiritually, so as you how older you will learn to be proud in the wisdom you have obtained.

God Bless,

Michele Fleming, M.A.

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