Dear Michele, I get smiles from different women and when I respond with a kind comment, I get nothing back. Am I being too kind (I’ve heard some women like to be treated kind of bad) or responding too quickly or not saying the right things?
Signed,
Perplexed
Dear Perplexed,
I have to admit by what you are saying it is confusing. If a woman has sent you a smile, then it indicates she is interested in communicating further. I don’t know if you are or are not saying the right things. My advice would be to keep your response short and sweet; you don’t want to overwhelm someone with too many details too quickly. I don’t know if you are asking for phone or in-person contact immediately, that would be too fast and might come off as too pushy. I don’t think there is a way to be too kind?
I chose to publish your question because of the sense that you have heard that some women like to be treated poorly. I am very saddened that you would believe this may be true. Yes, I have heard the same thing, but to me the comment simply relieves the conscious of someone who is being inappropriate, rude, or simply cruel to someone that isn’t behaving they way he prefers in the relationship. Apart from a true mental illness, no one “wants” to be treated badly, and even if she does, that is not a reason to do so. Every person is worthy of dignity and respect from others.
Do some women want a man who will “stand up to her?” Sure, yes, meaning some women may prefer men to take the lead, have an opinion, and not let her have her way in every instance. This is normally called an equal partner, and yes, some women want an equal partner. By having a partner who is a complete person on his own, meaning he has his own likes and dislikes, his own dreams and passions in life, then she is likely to feel more secure to lean on him in times of support.
I hope that helps explain why you may hear the myth of treating a woman poorly. I don’t suggest it, it’s not the type of cycle you want in your relationships. I do think that if you keep being yourself, and keep being open to what God wants to surprise you with, then the right woman will respond.
God Bless,
Michele Fleming, M.A.
