Dear Michele,I am new at this and need your advice. A gentleman that is interested in communicating with me said he was not much for emailing, but he gave me his phone number and would like me to call him and possible meet for lunch in the future to get to know each other. Is this moving to fast? Should I call him on my cell to his cell? He will then have my phone number if I do that. Or should I just go ahead and give it a chance and call him? When should we meet?
L.
Dear L,
Sounds like you want to be sure that you are keeping yourself safe. It’s good that you are cautious before moving forward with someone that you’ve met online. Each person has their own boundaries for how fast they want to move through communication, but I can offer some guidelines.
In general, sites like these where people have to pay to join and post information about themselves are safer than bulletin boards or chat rooms, where it’s easier to remain anonymous. It is normally a good idea to email first, but even then you might not get a real good sense of another person until you talk. There is a way to block your cell phone number. Simply dial *67 (on most phones), and then your number will be blocked. He can still answer the call, he just won’t be able to see your number and he won’t be able to dial you back. You can also request from your phone company that you permanently block your number to everyone. In that case, your number will only appear as the word “private.” Of course, it’s much easier to find out your actual location if calling from a home line, so I would always suggest calling from a cell phone first.
If you do decide to meet, be sure to tell someone where you are going and who you are meeting with. And, above all, meet in a public place. Do not allow someone you have just met to walk you back to your car if you are parked in a secluded place or a parking garage, no matter how comfortable you feel. As a relationship progresses, you can take small steps towards disclosing more of your personal information, especially if you are able to confirm some of the things you are hearing. After a few dates, be sure you meet friends and co-workers, because its a great way to really get to know someone from another perspective.
Be assured, the majority of people dating online are just like you, honest people who want to use a great way to meet people. In fact, most singles today are on at least one web site. Another bonus is that this site considers a person’s faith, so you can at least expect that you may share some important morals and values. The chances of meeting someone who has malicious intentions are slim, but it’s always a good idea to be diligent.
God Bless,
Michele
