Hi Michele,I am a member of this website because I want to meet someone who shares my Catholic values. I haven’t really dated much and so I am not sure where to even begin. I have sent “smiles” to guys I am interested in, but haven’t received a response back from any of them. I have struggled with weight and body image for most of my life, and I feel like men take one look at my picture and pass me over. I know that beauty is not everything, but what can I do to make myself shine?
Signed,
Dating Advice Needed
Dear Dating Advice Needed,
You may not feel as if you have a lot of experience in dating, but you are clear on what you want. Looking for someone that shares your values is key, and yes, it’s more important than looks or body style. So, consider yourself ahead of the game already, because lots of people are looking at attributes that don’t count towards making a life-time commitment to marriage work.
As you may have seen in a similar post of mine, dating in our culture that demands the “perfect” body and a specific set of criteria for beauty or worth is very challenging. I consider it the cross of our generation. No wonder it is so difficult to not only find the right one but to make a marriage work. With that said, people of all shapes, sizes, backgrounds, financial status, and ability marry every day. Using an online service like this one opens up the possibility of meeting more people, but it can also encourage people to make quick judgments based on a glance at a profile.
I would say continue to do what you are doing, remaining active in your faith and authentic in your life’s pursuits. If your body image or weight is a concern to you, then you may decide to take steps to adopt a different lifestyle plan. There are a lot of resources out there, with diet, exercise, and medical referrals. If it would be beneficial to your health, then taking that step is something to do to take care of you. This way you own it, to care for yourself, and not simply so you can meet someone sooner. But know that the right person will love you for who you are, both inside and out. Our bodies WILL change over time in drastic ways, so the person you marry will need to love you no matter your shape, size, or age. He will see you as God as, made in His image, and His child of beauty.
God Bless,
Michele Fleming, M.A.
