Dating 101: 1-2-3 Strikes You’re Out Or Is It?

Dear Michele,
How do you know if you’re being played? A guy sent me a smiley and rose, I sent a thank you back to him. He emailed me and then we emailed back and forth for just under a month. Made arrangements to meet this past Sat he called Fri and cancelled. Then he called Sunday, apologized and made arrangements to meet me that evening. Guess what, again no show. This time no call, no email, no text message to either let me know in advance or apologize.

I’m a sports nut, so as far as I’m concerned, strike 2. Do I let him get 3 strikes or the no show, no reason no nothing, is an you’re out?

I’m old enough that this is not what I want, and that I don’t and won’t play any games. Any suggestions, comments, etc.?


Being Played?

Dear Being Played,

Three strikes makes sense in baseball, but not when someone is “playing” at the “game” of dating. Everyone can accidentally overbook themselves once, or have something come up. But twice in a row with a person that you have never met is just too much. It is likely that he is seeing someone else, or he has another complicating relationship in his life. It is especially concerning that there is no further explanation or contact from him.

If you know that you don’t want to play this game, then I would suggest getting off the field. Consider closing off any further communication with this person. Don’t let your desire for a relationship get in the way of being able to see the red flags. Following truth, as we have been taught by Christ and in our faith, is the way to keep your heart safe.

Keep listening to your gut, you have a sense of what is right!

Good luck,

Michele Fleming, M.A.