Avoid These 6 Cringe-Worthy Catholic Dating Mistakes

catholic dating mistakes

Catholic dating can feel different from secular dating. Along with coming with our own unique set of traditions, guidelines, and values, we also come with a particular set of cringe-worthy traps to fall into.

Here are the top six cringe-worthy Catholic dating mistakes to avoid—date wisely!

1. Don’t ask how Catholic someone is

catholic dating mistakes

Holy awkward question, Batman.

In some ways, it makes sense that this question may be on the tip of your tongue when you’re on a first date. These days, it can almost seem like Catholicism is a spectrum. Do you attend Latin Mass? Do you have your own pew? Do you volunteer to read? Do you have tattoos that are exclusively scripture verses?

There are so many pieces of what it means to be Catholic beyond your relationship with the Catholic Church.

However, using your differences to judge too quickly could hurt your date, as well as your chances. Let the answer to your Catholic compatibility unveil itself in time.

Who knows, you may even inspire some new pursuits in the faith in one another.

2. Don’t name the kids yet

catholic dating mistakes

If you guffawed at this, good for you. If you said, “Wait, why not?” then keep reading.

Again, it’s not inherently a bad thing to talk family. We’re Catholic! We love kids! We love naming them after saints and lining them up by height in our family pew!

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with embracing the joy of new life. Openness to children is even something couples vow to in the wedding ceremony. But the early stages of dating, in the secular world and the Catholic world, is just not the time to discuss it at length.

Before you family plan, you need to wedding plan.

Unfortunately, I know of people who’ve been on second dates with someone pitching baby names—yikes.

3. Be cool with the affection

holding hands

As a youth group alumna, retreat veteran, and just general cradle Catholic, I’m no stranger to the outpouring of affection that comes from my fellow church brothers and sisters.

The thing is, a lot of people (like myself) love Jesus a lot, and love hugs, well, a lot less.

Maybe you’re in the habit of being affectionate with your church-going family. Hugs, holding hands, touching shoulders during conversation, or even verbally saying, “I love you!” may be part of your regular interaction with those you love.

Just remember that in dating, those gestures aren’t just friendly—they’re romantic. Those signs of affection can come on too strong if it’s not been agreed upon first.

4. Leave the past in the past

letting go

I’ve been on multiple dates with Catholic men whose first marriages have been annulled.

That’s not a bad thing.

In fact, it’s a beautiful reminder of the beauty of second chances and what it means to embrace our humanity.

Even though our past can help form who we are, it does not define us. Dwelling on what made your last relationship great, or what was your demise, is not great first date talk. Quite the opposite—it may lead your date to believe you’re not ready to be back in the game just yet.

5. Let’s talk sins

holding hands

Actually, let’s not! This is the biggest stretch of a mistake someone might make in the dating realm—but it’s definitely the most cringe-worthy!

It’s unlikely you’d actually bring it up like this, but beware of paths that lead to conversations about potentially deep and personal struggles with faith or sin. It’s the job of the spouse to get the other to heaven, so it’s important to know how you can help lead and guide. However, that’s something for the future.

Before you ask their greatest struggle, be sure you know their middle name.

6. Do. Not. Ghost.

sad woman

Not every date will be a love connection. We get it. But the only excuse for vanishing without a trace is when someone is being aggressive, threatening, or not taking the rejection.

A lot of people think the opposite of ghosting is having to list out all the things you don’t like about the other person. In fact, it’s just somewhere in the middle.

Don’t berate them for being a bad match for you. Do take the time to explain that you don’t see a future. If you need some help, start here.

Here’s my general rule of thumb in dating and life: if I’m not sure if something is appropriate to say, I just don’t say it! Appropriate things don’t cross my radar as questionable. So far, it’s been nearly 100% effective.

Find that you’re guilty of some of these mistakes? Remember, it’s got nothing to do with your future!