Dear Michele,
I have tried to move on but she keeps showing up. Am I missing something?
I keep being matched with a woman I consider an excellent match, although she appears to be nonresponsive. I don’t consider myself a “superstitious” or “destiny” type person but there are coincidences. About 5 years ago we are matched by Match.com , 100% match. I contact her. Two short positive replies later, no further response. I try several more notes but no response.
Since then we are matched by Chemistry, Eharmony, and 4 other Catholic dating websites.
I tried to contact her at these sites when her profile was active, but no replies, not even a “ not interested” or “block my profile. ” The compatibility tests indicate we are very compatible.
We attended the same university as students and possibly “passed in the hall” when she was a student and I was an employee. We both grew up on a farm and live in the same state. We both have a great devotion to Mary.
Should I keep trying to start a conversation as long as she is active or doesn’t give me a “not interested reply,” or just forget and move on? I would greatly appreciate your point of view.
Signed,
What Am I Missing?
Dear What Am I Missing,
Wow. Sounds incredibly frustration. On “paper,” it sounds like you would be a very good match. I know how hard it is to find someone who is compatible, and at the very least you both are looking to meet a Catholic mate.
But here’s the thing. If she is not interested, then you must respect her choice. There is no way to ever know why she is not responding. This is the most difficult part of dating, sometimes you just don’t get to “know.” And, even though she seems like the perfect match, you only have a very small slice of the person when you look at a profile. There are many, many times when a person’s resume seems to fit your job description, only to find out in “real life” that there are personality differences. It’s happened to me, and just about anyone who is out there dating.
If you have already sent her multiple messages, then it is time to stop. I know you may be disappointed to consider giving up. I am sorry that you won’t even get a chance to meet this person. But in any relationship, we must respect the boundaries that the other person requests. My hope is you will continue to search, because I can hear that your heart wants to meet someone, and I know if it is within God’s will, He is preparing you the gift of a partner that matches you in ways you could never imagine.
God Bless,
Michele Fleming, M.A.
