I remember when I was returning to my Catholic faith that I was excited to learn all of those terms actually had real meaning .. Eucharist (more than just communion), reconciliation (more than confession), Catechumens (ok, I didn’t know that one existed until I got more involved in the church and sponsored a new member), and annulled (clearly more than simply divorced).
I made a very poor use of my own assumptions.. assuming that a “divorced” Catholic is an annulled Catholic. However, users on this site clearly designate if they are one or the other, so my last blog certainly sounds confusing. But the teachings of the Church are not. The teaching of the Catholic church has not changed in 2000 years. Catholics see marriage as a permanent commitment, and a civil divorce does not end the marriage in the eyes of the church. An annulment is a very time consuming and emotionally-challenging process, I have journeyed through it with those that I counsel. It’s no small task .. but it’s not supposed to be. That is why dating someone who is divorced AND annulled is a perfectly good option for someone who wants to marry. In my focus on the question of children from a previous marriage, my comments on divorce and annulment were not accurate. I in no way intended to communicate that dating while divorced but not annulled is appropriate.
Thank you every one for your comments and I’m glad to see that you are steadfast in the defense of marriage.
I want to make sure we remember that a Catholic who is divorced but not yet annulled can be the subject of harsh judgment from members of the church. I define judgment as truth without grace. We need both. The truth is very clear, and leaving room for grace is the point of the third day of the Easter story and Divine Mercy Sunday. As we make clear the teaching of the Church on dating (not allowed until annulled), I don’t want to condemn anyone who is going through the end of a marriage. As Catholics, we are also called to lend compassion and companionship to those who are likely already devastated by their loss and struggling with shame. As the apostle Paul wrote, “There is therefore now no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus.”
God Bless,
Michele Fleming, M.A.
