I’m an optimist. Always have been, always will be. I did not get married until I was 46 so I can honestly say I understand what it is like to be single for the holidays and I can honestly say…it never got me down. Other times, yes, but never during the Christmas season. And no…I was not surrounded by my family either since we were on opposite coasts. I simply made a choice to embrace the spirit of Christmas, embrace my faith and embrace the knowledge that all things are possible even the chance that I might just meet my future husband during this magical time. Not all our circumstances are the same, but I hope this blog gives those who are feeling alone a little comfort.
Christmas was always a very busy season for me. You see, for 15 years I was a professional Christmas Caroler and all that goes with it. From Thanksgiving to New Years I was booked on gigs which included house parties, shopping malls, corporate events, restaurants, ships, hospitals and nursing homes. Like many of my fellow carolers this was in addition to our regular full-time and multiple part-time gigs that we juggled throughout the year. There was not a lot of down time, but I still wanted to make the most of the Christmas season and experience it with as many friends and acquaintances that I could.
This is a great time to meet new people and maybe even your future boyfriend or girlfriend. At no other time of year are there more parties, volunteer opportunities, people out and about in shopping malls and restaurants than Christmas. There are also more people attending Mass and who knows, you may notice someone you have never seen before at church. And believe me…it happens. My friend met her future husband at Mass. All it took was a few Sundays and a few “Peace Be with You” handshakes before Ed finally had the courage to ask Tracy out one week. Although I did not meet my future husband at church, I thought of their story every Sunday and kept my eyes wide open.
Curious if any of my friends met someone during the 4th quarter, I decided to ask and found out a few of them did meet future boyfriends/spouses during the holiday season. One friend met her fiancé on a dating site. She said it was the perfect time because they could enjoy some fun outings in the city together without the added pressure of which family they would spend Christmas Eve and Christmas Day with since they went their separate ways on both those days.
Another friend met her future husband at a reunion of sorts. Since everyone was back home for the holidays it was only natural that you would meet up with all your old grade school buddies at the local pub (that’s how it was in my town anyway). This was a perfect opportunity to reconnect with old friends and as luck and God would have it…my friend reconnected with an old classmate and ended up marrying him.
Of course, there is always New Year’s to consider as well. Don’t have a date? Don’t stay home. If my other good friend did, I wouldn’t be searching for a cool baby shower gift along with my last minute Christmas shopping. You never know if you might hit it off with a friend of a friend so keep an open mind when invited to hang out with people you never met before. That’s exactly what happened for Louise.
As for myself, I also met my future husband during the start of the holiday season (yes..on this very site). As I mentioned, my busiest time of year, but one thing I learned. No matter how busy your schedule, there is always time for a quick lunch or telephone conversation. If people are interested in getting to know you, they make the time. My future husband would drive an hour and half to meet me for the hour break I had between jobs and then head home. In turn, when I had a four hour chunk of time, I would drive an hour and meet him at a mall for a couple of hours and we would help each other with Christmas shopping. We were just new friends who liked hanging out together. There was no pressure at all and it was fun to share the season with someone new.
During my many single and caroling years, I would be working late into Christmas Eve and then again Christmas Day (actually I would round up other carolers who were flying solo and we would just head to some nursing homes and surprise them…best gig of the year). As a result I could only go to Midnight Mass and usually by myself; however, one year I had met another girl who was single and Catholic through a class. Her family was also back East and we decided that as long as we were both in L.A. we would meet up for midnight mass on Christmas Eve. We did this for about four years straight until I moved and it still cracks me up to this day that we would not see each other all year, but would touch base for Christmas Eve and would have the best time ever!
As John Antonio wrote in his blog, Christmas is meant to be shared with whoever God puts in your path that year. That really struck a chord and I started thinking of all the Christmas Days I spent after I moved away from home. Each Christmas was different including the one I spent in the emergency room for kidney stones. They gave me just enough pain killers to get through Christmas Day where I caroled and went to a movie with two girlfriends only to be admitted the next day on my knees and begging for the pain to stop…lol. Many years going with a friend or two to a party hosted by someone I did not know and twice when I did make it home on Christmas Day, I was greeted by my sister who said, “we’re heading to the hospital, Dad took a heart attack”…this happened TWICE…God Bless my Dad, we would joke that he was just so excited we were all coming home that it gave him a heart attack. He was always so apologetic and would laugh along with us. Loved this man so much and miss him every day! He is now in Heaven looking down and asking, “So what are you doing for Christmas this year?”
And I’ll tell you…since we are flying as a solo couple this year, we decided just today to see if any friends were also going to be home alone…we now have 12 people coming over for Christmas Day Brunch including a few we do not know. So…it’s not too late. Make that call. Some already had plans but some didn’t and that is who God put in our path this year.
Wishing you all a Merry Christmas and a Blessed New Year!
