You’ve probably heard of catfishing, when online dating users create a totally fake identity to get a date. You might have even heard of kittenfishing, when someone misleads potential dates with little white lies about themselves online. But do you know about wokefishing?
Read more: 8 Online Dating Trends to Watch Out for in 2020
At first glance, the new dating trend of wokefishing might seem a little silly. Wokefishing is when someone pretends to be more politically progressive in order to attract a date. You might not think this is something you’d ever be tempted to do. But many online daters do at one point or another come face to face with the temptation to exaggerate certain qualities about themselves.
In the world of Catholic dating, sometimes it can feel like the small pool of potential mates out there who fit your criteria and are interested in you is too tiny for success. Sometimes, it can feel harmless (or possibly even helpful) to let a potential date assume things about you that aren’t entirely true.
But when it comes to wokefishing, there are a lot of ways that this can go wrong for single Catholics.
Who are you trying to connect with?
Catholic dating online can sometimes feel like a fruitless search for someone special. It might seem impossible that you’ll find someone who is attractive, shares your values, and has a great personality. In fact, you may start to wonder if you’ll have to compromise in order to find someone at all.
Maybe you consider that someone who doesn’t share all of your values could come to share them eventually. This is definitely possible, although sometimes it doesn’t always turn out that way. After all, how many non-Catholics out there are going to be totally on board with dating a person who is strongly prolife, against same-sex marriage, wants to save sex for marriage, and against contraception? Probably not a lot.
It can seem like a really good idea to pretend these beliefs aren’t near and dear to your heart, particularly if you’re an online dating user on a secular online dating site. You might think it’s wise to not broadcast these types of things in your profile. Or, you could be tempted to not be fully truthful about your beliefs while you messages someone.
It’s not a sin by any means to refrain from shouting your every last belief from the rooftops before you’re even in a relationship with someone. However, it’s a lot wiser to get it out there early on that you’re not board with all of the same things they might believe in.
What being wokefishing means for single Catholics
At a basic level, being woke refers to a perceived awareness of issues concerning social justice and racial justice. Unfortunately, sometimes this viewpoint promotes ideas contrary to the Catholic faith. But there are some hot topics today that are considered “woke” that Catholics can get behind.
For example, the belief that men and women deserve to be treated with equal respect is sometimes considered woke. Catholics agree with that. Nonetheless, some Catholics might disagree on what this should look like concretely in the world. The same thing could be said for racial justice, an issue that many people are talking about right now.
If you’re getting to know someone through a Catholic dating site, should you play along and pretend to totally agree with them as you start messaging, even if you don’t agree with everything they’re saying? Though the social media arguments that spring up everywhere these days might insinuate that such a pretense could be a good idea, the truth is that mature people know how to discuss, debate, and disagree.
If you pretend to go along with views you don’t actually hold, you could be missing out on some very intellectually stimulating conversation. In fact, when it’s done with charity and a dash of open-mindedness, discussing hot topics someone can form a deep connection with them. You could miss out on this connection completely if you simply pretend you already agree with them on everything.
Honesty really is the best policy in Catholic dating
Is it really a lie to pretend you’re more woke than you are? It can certainly turn into a lie when you’re faced with the choice between a straight-out lie and making yourself look kind of foolish for what you implied. When in doubt, consider how honest you’d want the person you’re interested in to be.
It might not actually happen that you find someone to date who agrees with you about everything. However, a bit of disagreement might not be a bad thing in the long run. Instead of worrying about the things you don’t agree on, focus instead on what the two of you do agree on, especially the important things you agree on.
You just might make a deep connection that turns into the lifelong relationship you’ve been searching for.
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