There comes a point in every relationship when I, the guy, need to host a girl for the first dinner. I’ve always considered myself pretty hospitable but at one point in my “hosting” I realized that having a girl on the pad shouldn’t really be the same as inviting a buddy over to play video games; nor is it quite like having your mom over for brunch.
My hosting customs needed some work.
I talked to a lady friend about it, asked her for advice and we ended up with a pretty reasonable list of healthy social customs to show a girl she’s not another PS3 pal.
First of all, your guest arrives. Make things easy. If you have a condo or apartment, that resembles an alphabet of hallways, meet her at the car and walk her up. That’s not to say that she couldn’t find it on her own, but we’re talking about hospitality here, not a visit to the hospital.
Offer her a seat. Don’t let her wander around trying to figure your place out or decide between sitting in your gaming chair or at the dining table. Hopefully, the gaming chair isn’t actually also the dining room table, but in any case just tell her where to sit to avoid awkward ambiguity.
Offer her something to drink. Aside from quenching thirst, water (and sometimes vodka) are pretty much the basis of all life on this planet. It’s level one hospitality to offer someone a glass of something. On that note go ahead and say what you have, like two or three of your best-sellers: OJ, a Black Russian, Brita filtered water. Besides, an open-ended drink question could have her asking for a Flaming Lamborghini the same day you happened to run out of Blue Curacao. That would be awkward too.
Do the dirty work. So you’re cooking pesto with lemon chicken, and she asks,
“What can I do?”
It’s tempting to have her wash the wooden spoons while you add your secret ingredient. In other words, make her a dishwasher while you play chef? A more hospitable option may be to have her slice or stir something. Everybody loves to stir.
Dinner is served. Again, pull the seat out for her. This serves the double purpose of showing her where to sit (no, not on the bean bags) and also, just showing that you care.
Time to go home. There are different ways of doing this.
You can let her out, but wait, that’s what we do for the dog. You can also walk her out. Put her in her car, smile and watch her drive away like you’re not going to see her again. Hopefully, if you did things well, you will her again.
Finally, this is also the one time texting comes in handy:
You make it home OK?
I really just do that because if she didn’t make it home OK, I don’t want to wake up shocked telling someone on the phone…Uh I dunno what happened to her. She was here and then she left.
That’s the basics. Now you’re ready to host. Make the call.
