John's Blog Archives

“I like spending time alone,” we’ve heard over and over again upon meeting a person self-identifying as “single”. Most of the time it is a questionable truth. We know that because depression and loneliness are as common in young professionals as ins...
“I think you’re sweet and a really nice guy, but let’s be friends.” “I had a really good time last night. You’re wonderful and a really nice guy, but I don’t think we’re right for each other.” If you have heard any of these thing...
A common mistake a Catholic man makes in dating is thinking that there is a Catholic way of dating. He thinks that Catholics date by a separate set of rules than people who are not Catholic. If I follow Church teachings, if I stay in grace, if I go to church on Sunday, I...
At some point in the past two weeks you have probably self-deprecated yourself. You made a mistake while playing sports and declared yourself “not very good.” A friend said you were smart and you nodded “no way”. For many people self-deprecation is commo...
Part of being a man is dealing with the potentially obnoxious sex drive that he has within. No matter what stage of life the man is at he needs to learn to deal with this simply because it is generally physically and temporally impossible to have all the sex that his body a...
Last week I wrote about Church ministries helping single young professionals. They could help by helping them develop healthier dating lives. That is a broad concept, however, so here are three considerations for what it means to have a healthy dating life. 1. YOU ARE HEAL...
Recently, I sat at a table with several young adults who had gone to a local young adult ministry event advertised as a “dating talk”. I asked what the talk was about. “What to do before getting married,” was the reply. “Cool! What am I supposed to...
You turn the news on today and front line you hear about politics. And politics. And more politics. The only thing you really have to notice though is how this is affecting your relationships because Presidents come and go but "the one" lasts for ever, or so the...
Everyone who is using online dating becomes a messenger. By messenger I mean someone who sends messages and probably lots of them. While I prefer a phone call to a message any day, it is not always possible to do that until a minimum degree of trust is established; thus, t...
Recently, I felt I needed to infuse some energy into my daily routine so I tried the carpe diem approach and told myself, “This is my last week on Earth. What am I going to do?” I thought about calling it my last day but then I’d probably just finish Season ...
My most recent book promotion took me to Denver, Colorado where a few things happened. First of all, I coincidently went snowboarding on Copper mountain for a bachelor party. I think the best bachelor parties are the ones that test some man skill like endurance, confidence,...
Everybody wants to be happy from now until January 1st. Thanksgiving, Christmas parties, and New Years should be, we are told, the happiest time of the year. It is hard to be happy without first being thankful, which is in fact why we celebrate Thanksgiving before Christm...
“A man who is truly interested in a woman will find an endless number of ways to spend time with her.” That quote came across my Facebook feed today. It is a beautiful quote. It is also a quote meant for married men, not dating men. Giving someone all your time...
This week I reconnected with my High School friend, Austin, who happened in town on business. Over vodka on rocks, we toasted to our 15 year reunion. Of course, first item of catch up was careers. It quickly became evident that Austin had become very successful. He will s...
Three years ago I began writing a book for single Catholic professionals. The demographic of single professionals in the Catholic Church is growing. On one hand the young adult groups are growing not only in numbers, but in age limits, as well. We now have 39 year olds go...
Good manners are all the rage now. Any man who has scrolled across a few dating profiles will see that most women are looking for a guy who is chivalrous, polite etc. My Catholic dating blog feed is diluted with tales of how reviving that lost art of being a gentleman will...
Elections are coming up. Like most Americans, I’m absolutely sure of whom I’m not voting for but have no idea of whom I am voting for. Whom to vote for, however, is actually the least of my concerns. What I’m really worried about is keeping my sanity until ...
Men, prepare yourselves for the long haul. You will be dating longer. The average guy gets married at 29 now, meaning that a good number of them are probably 35+ and you may be among them. There’s nothing wrong with being single longer, the man biological clock still...
In the hype of what you should or should not eat I thought I’d take a moment to address eating from a Catholic perspective. The Catholic Church doesn’t espouse any particular diet, probably because the Catholic Church plans on being around longer than any particul...
The first thing we often notice about a man from a long way off is posture; and one of the first things your parents may have told you when you were old enough to sit in a chair was, “Sit up straight, don’t slouch.” I never understood the why of the “don&...
John Chrysostom was a priest saint from about 1600 years ago. The fact that he was a priest and from a long time ago may give us the idea that he knew nothing about how to charm the lady. “Back then”, we are told, “women just swept the house all day. And pri...
There has been a recent discovery in the world of men’s health. Earlier this year a University of Houston grad student revealed he’d discovered a series of essays on men’s health authored by Walt Whitman. Yeah, the poet, but keep reading. Is it Catholic to b...
There is one night a month which should always be on every man’s calendar—guys night. Guys night is not a thing single men do by default of not having a date. It’s the thing that every man on the planet should be doing to thrive in his manhood and maybe sani...
Once a year, when I leave the house to go on a date, I vaguely wonder, “What do women notice first in a guy?” Is it the Pacman t-shirt or mismatched blazer? Either way, I’m probably not making a stellar impression. Then, a female friend recently clarified i...
In my last blog I shared some data from a study we did of young Catholic women on their dating experiences within the Catholic communities. As promised, here is what the young Catholic men had to say within the same study. The general questions we had for men were, “A...
Some time ago I wrote a blog Catholics Don’t Date. In the blog I made an observation on the lack of dating happening in Catholic communities. It was simply an observation and did not arrive to an explanation of why. Recently, the thematic has been a recurring themati...
Pope Francis’s new book has been released. It’s smashing. It’s smashing most of my ideas about the limitations of mercy: I thought I just had to forgive 7 times 70 and in some instances, relationships in particular, I’ve actually started counting. Tur...
I got a text from a friend last week, “Adam and I broke up.” It was too bad since last month I had drinks with her and Adam and they seemed to be really happy together. It just doesn’t make sense. It raises the question, “Why did this happen?” I kn...
It was the eve of Christmas Eve, 2015, the Magnificent Mile Chicago. “You have plans for tonight?” I asked. “No,” she said. “Would you like to grab a drink with me?” She smiled, “Sure”. We both climbed out of the hotel swimming pool an...
Blame it on the Hallmark channel and fairy tale Christmas flicks for convincing us that no matter what our family situation, the Holidays will make everything wonderful when everyone comes together. Maybe that happens for a few, but generally it takes more than decorations ...
“OK sweetie, love you,” I said hanging up the phone. “Whoa, whooaa, man! Whoa! Who you saying the “L” word to?” My buddy asked. “Dude, it’s just my sister.” “Oh. OK.” My friend’s false scare got me thinking. W...

The Call

by John Antonio on Sep 30th, 2015

I make a lot of phone calls. I’ve called people to sell higher, buy lower and haggle interest rates. At times, I’ve made more “cold calls” in one day than a teenage girl would text. Nothing really compares to the call to ask a girl out on a date. If yo...
“Should I text or call? Send an emoji? Several emoji’s?” “I go on dates every week but why can’t I just find the right person?” Aziz Ansari’s "Modern Romance" most likely won’t give you the answers to these and dozens of ot...
There comes a point in every relationship when I, the guy, need to host a girl for the first dinner. I’ve always considered myself pretty hospitable but at one point in my “hosting” I realized that having a girl on the pad shouldn’t really be the same as...
A few weeks ago I was one of those thirty something young professionals buried in Google trying to figure out what to do for summer vacation. As time goes on and friends move on it’s not as easy as it used to be. Of course, you can always use the “visit family...
I showed up to work and high fived the first co-worker I saw. At five, I swung by happy hour but was already happy way before my drink arrived. I got home and rather than flipping on the TV, I jumped to cooking dinner. Everything was different because sometimes the smallest ...
Unless you’re Barbie or a dwarf called Happy you’ll most likely, at some point in life, go through what’s called a “slump”; that sluggish day, week or month of mere survival of existence. All of us pull through a slump with the help of romantic com...
“He’s so much richer than me,” my college friend told me, as if money stood between her and true love. It reminded me, some time ago, I myself was sitting across from a girl who made a lot more money than me. I think it happens more as you approach your thirt...
Last week I received an email through work inviting me to teach a group of medical students about “End of life choices and care”. I responded, “Of course, I love doing that!” A few thoughtful moments later, I realized that my job was something enjoyable...
In college I hated Impressionist art. I didn’t think impressions mattered. Why did Monet have to paint his impressions of a river? Why not just paint the river itself, the way it really is? That was then, a time when the world was black and white, either real or fak...
People “say” they’re in a committed relationship. Occasionally, I don’t do all the due diligence before asking someone out. There just isn’t time, and I look at the person and know it’s now or never, and I shoot for the moon. And then I hear,...
If you went to college you’ve probably got some. And you still got it because it’s the gift that keeps on giving with interest and compounded interest. Yes, student loans. Loans can be annoying because loans may affect stability and stability can sometimes rain ...
As a Christian guy I try to leave space for Divine Providence in my decision-making. Divine Providence is pretty much like a “best case-scenario” habit of thought. If you take initiative, put your time in and are still unsure of the results, no worries: the scena...
I get the sense that girls are getting tired of dieting their body into the perfect shape to get a guy’s attention. At least that’s what I was told when I turned on the radio and heard a sassy voice tell me for three minutes that it’s All About That Bass. Me...
“He took me out to lunch. And then, took me out again. And again. Finally, one day he asked me, ‘Sooo…what do you think? Where are we going with this?’ It was just awkward. It would have been nicer if he were more decisive and asked me out on a date...
Earlier this month I was the guest speaker for a Theology on Tap series. The topic was “ Dating as a Catholic ”. No, I didn’t speak about the benefits of chastity-before-marriage for an hour. I think we’ve all heard that speech already. They had other...
From the title, I honestly thought it might be another movie about relocating three states away from your ex and finding new hope in the arms of a savior-lover. Dan (Mark Ruffalo) and Greta (Keira Knightley) actually do begin again but in a way a little different than that....
“How can I find someone amazing?” I hear that question a couple times a month from a client or chat session. If I had an easy formula for finding amazing people I’d probably be on Forbes, own a mega-dating network called “ Amazing Matches ”, or at ...
This summer I’ve already learned three lessons about the “new romance”. The dynamics of date night and courtship are changing. It started when I flew down to New Orleans to reminisce with friends and learn how to roast Sweet Maria’s coffee beans. Sitting ...
I’m generally accepting about my single life peppered with random dates. It’s the social pressure to be in a relationship that really gets to me. This usually happens when I spend time with my 4-year-old niece. First, there was our visit to the children’s mu...
I run into people who are single and rather not be . I feel you. But they have all these reasons for not being able to find – for lack of a better term – a soulmate. There’s the “Chivalry is dead” rant which says that all guys are losers except for...
The past few weeks, I thought I’d seen quite a few of them, and then this morning I came across yet another men’s health post telling me how to beef up my arms in time for the summer tank top. It’s not that I have anything against looking great and I’m a...
It’s spring time. The deer are looking for green food. You’re looking to make more green. First there’s you, the graduate, finishing school and about to nail down your dream job; and with today’s economy you’re fortunate if it actually has somethin...
The age of the millennial bachelor has dawned. Born in the 80’s and 90’s we’re the single guys who now outnumber our married counterparts in record proportions. Midlife bachelors were once harder to come by but now that our movement is growing we’re star...
“Catholics don’t date,” I thought. With Valentines Day close by, a friend had suggested I write about “Catholic” dating. Now before some happily married Catholic couple protests my biased opinion, I should probably clarify. Not too long ago I was at ...

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We met in August 2013 after a few messages on Catholic Singles. From our first date, we were comfortable talking about everything from faith to football. On our second date, before going sailing, we started our day with mass together. Although our lives took very different paths previous to meeti...

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Matt and I met in September 2009 through your site after I had just moved to Michigan to start graduate school. We started dating soon after and have been inseparable ever since! Matt and I were married June 6, 2015. After celebrating our first holiday season together as a married couple, we are ...

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My Husband and I met on this site in 2013. We had each been looking for a Catholic that shared our values and this is a great resource for bringing single Catholics together. We married a little over a year later and have happily welcomed our first child into the world. We have been extremely ble...

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