Catholic Singles

WILL THE PAIN HURT THE LOVE?
BY: MARK ANTHONY ROSOLOWSKI

A friend I had at work would ask the same question every time it rained, "Do you think the rain will hurt the rhubarb." The answer was, "Not if it is in galvanized cans." Yes it sounds stupid, and maybe it is, but if you put it in a different perspective, it is a very serious question. I was waking up when I asked myself, “Do you think the pain will hurt the love?” I answered myself. ‘Not as long as you keep yourself in a galvanized can.”

We go through life and we meet many people, some we fall in love with, we marry that special one, and then something happens. The pain enters our lives, the one we love dies, or the one we love harms us either emotionally or physically. Either way the love that we once had caused a pain in our heart, it broke our hearts, we were in agony. We look back and we think, “Was the love worth all of the pain that it caused?”

Most likely we will answer no it wasn’t, so we sink back, we fade into the background, and we create a galvanized can around ourselves. This galvanization does not stop the water from rusting the can; rather it keeps love from eroding away at us to make us vulnerable enough to fall in love again. The can keeps love away, we do not feel the pain and we are safe in the can knowing that love will never hurt us again.

However as life goes on around us we realize that it is lonely inside of the can. With the lid on tight it is dark and forbidding. We reach into our wonderful bag of faith and ask God for help, we ask Him to please show us what to do. Then it happens we see the can opener of God’s love break through the lid of the can. We are again bathed in the light of His love. As we see the can open we see others reaching out to us, offering their hands, offering their help, offering their love.

When the can is finally fully opened we look around and we discover that even though love may hurt at times, the pain cannot erase the happy moments of our lives. I look at myself I see the pain and the agony that the death of my wife caused; I remember vividly how my heart ached. Then I look back a little further, I see her smile, I hear her laugh, I see us embracing. I see her in her wedding gown, I see the tears in her eyes as we say “I do”, I see the births of our daughter and our son. I see us playing and laughing with our children, I see her holding our granddaughter. I see many other times that cause me to laugh and to smile, I realize I would not give up these times for anything.

So even though I do not want to feel the pain, I realize the pain is the price we pay for the love. I remember a movie, “Oh God, Book 2”, a little girl asked God, played by George Burns, “If you are all powerful why there is pain and suffering in the world?” The answer remains with me today, “When I made things I found when I made a left, I made a right, when I created a top, I created a bottom. So if I take away pain and suffering, happiness and love go with it.”

It is an amazingly simple explanation of why we must have pain and hurt with love, but can you imagine never feeling love, just so you never have to feel the